Day 1

     Today was my first day of Sabbatical.  Since my focus for this time is gardens and gardening, I spent much of the day pulling weeds, planting a few plants, planning for more, ordering mass quantities of mulch and visiting the plant store where I picked up some other plants for my garden.  I'm already sun-burnt, a gentle reminder that sun protection is essential for this light skinned woman who has skin cancer issues. 

    I thought about what I want out of this time.  As I mentioned on Sunday, I plan to do some pruning, both internally and externally. My focus is on healing, rest, re-grounding in God, and the deep digging in the dirt necessary to come back to my pastor job with greater intentionality and more grounding at the end of my sabbatical.

    At the end of each day, then, I will ask myself two questions: where did I see God and what did I learn today: or where did I experience God's leading.

    Monday I had lunch with a friend who said that sometimes pastors can get so caught up in trying to lead others to understand and deepen in their relationships with God that they neglect their own relationships with God. Tuesday in my lectionary group I heard something similar. I felt that was an important message, reminding me that this time really needs to be about that relationship. I've been working on my book about the trauma our family lived through and found a bit of envy for that time when God felt so close. It is easier to turn to God when we need help. It can be harder in the day to day busyness and living.  

    So as I "played in my yard" today (which is how I understand gardening), I took each breath as an invitation to hear at a deeper level. I don't know very much about gardening and I really wish I knew more. But I have time now to do some learning. I remembered that things we try that are fairly new to us will involve making mistakes. And that sometimes we have to try things to see what works, what fits.  I bought a few plants I know nothing about but that the plant store said would work well in the places I want to plant them.  We will see.  I don't really have a green thumb, though I love plants so much. I need to be forgiving when it doesn't work out as I planned, and flexible with the soil issues. I can be a lazy gardener in that I want to do it all the easiest way possible, which often ends up leading to more work as I then have mistakes and issues to constantly address. 

    I saw God in the beautiful and diverse way that life manifests in all these different plants. I found great joy in the plants I planted that have not only survived, but thrived in our yard.  As I looked at my apricot tree that is so heavy with fruit the limbs are bowing, and at the verbena, which has taken over a part of my yard and filled it with beautiful purple flowers, I delighted in what God can do if we just plant the seeds in the right soil with a little water, sun and love.  

    Today was a wonderful day.  I look forward to seeing what tomorrow will bring.