Stories
I asked and was granted permission
to share these stories, something I feel is essential as we share our stories.
1. 1. I was gathered with a group of Presbyterian
teaching and ruling elders who are Spanish speaking. The group was mostly made of up of people
whose primary language is Spanish, immigrants from Central and South America. Only a couple of us who were there at that
moment were people whose first language is English. I’ll admit, I am the worst at Spanish among
my colleagues in that group, but I am working to learn, practicing as well as
taking classes at the local college. As
we sat together in fellowship, my colleagues and friends shared stories of
their recent experiences with ICE and the fear in their communities. We listened.
We prayed. Still, despite the
pain, there was a lot of laughter, the sharing of amazing foods and a sense of
connection and care that crossed boundaries.
But then the
pastor who called us together asked why there were only a couple of us there
whose first language was English. Where
were our other colleagues who speak Spanish (or, like me, are learning
Spanish)? They were invited. Why didn’t they come? I tried to explain that people are busy,
overscheduled, sometimes frantic about the amount of work they are doing. But I knew that was only a partial
answer. And my friend who called us
together named what I was thinking, “People make time for what is important to
them. Why isn’t connecting with us
important to them?” I heard deep hurt in
his words. We say we care, but do we
show up for one another? Do we take the
time to get to know one another? Do we
cross boundaries enough to really understand and celebrate who others are, to
recognize our connections, to see one another for the children of God we each
are?
Another pastor in
the group said that at Presbytery meetings, there are people he greets, but
that this is all he feels comfortable doing.
He doesn’t know the other members of Presbytery. They are friendly. But they don’t go beyond that. As I drove home from this monthly meeting, I
found myself deeply saddened by my experience.
We are people of faith. But
sometimes we just give lip-service to the idea of loving our neighbors. Loving our neighbors means meeting them,
talking with them, getting to know and understand them. We cannot do that from a distance. We are called to commit to staying at the table together, and even enlarging the table to make room for others.
2. 2. My congregation has been part of a “belong
circle” made up of women from my congregation and women from an African
American congregation. We were supposed
to go through a program together that would invite learning and understanding,
but the group morphed into a support group.
We met every other week for four years before business and other
obligations caused us to end the group.
We remain friends, however. That
time, of truly diving deep into hearing each other’s stories created not only
bonds across neighborhoods, bonds across cultural and racial differences, but
also allowed us all to learn and grow; to understand that our faith and our
shared values connect us so much more than any differences.
3. 3. Language and cultural differences are not the
only things that divide us. In this time
in our country, political and theological differences also strongly divide
us. We have stopped talking to one
another but instead we group ourselves into “us” and “them.”
Towards that end our congregation began a
series called “talking across the differences” where we met several times, each
time around a hot topic. The first was
rent control, the second was immigration and the third was abortion. Each time we went through a small training
for how to listen, how to hear the shared values under our differences, and
then how to disagree in ways that did not alienate or shame one another. Afterwards we were put in small groups that
then talked about the hot topic of the day.
It was an important exercise for our congregation to stay at the table
with other parishioners who might have different understandings. We continue to explore how to be community
together, but mostly, how to stay at the table despite our differences.
Jesus calls us into a loving way of being. Jesus shows us what it is to become
community, really listening to the Syrophoenician woman, the Samaritan woman,
even a Roman centurion (who was considered one of the oppressors). He took the time to hear, to heal, to
care.
I believe that we are called to do the same. Yes, that will take time. Yes, it will take intentionality. Mostly, it will take faith: the faith to
trust that God will be with us in our efforts, in our steps, in our work to
care for and understand those it would be easier to “other.”
I feel strongly that my call is to be part of that conversation, to insist that this conversation across our differences continues and deepens, to work hard to build strong bridges of connection, faith, and unity across divides that are becoming gulfs between us. My call is to empower others to lean into that calling as well. That begins with my own listening to God and to others. We are called to spaces of belonging, we are called to make the table bigger, wider, and create more places for one another.
Does that mean we overlook injustices? No. But we call each other IN rather than calling each other OUT: talking openly but without attacking about why lifting up the marginalized, hearing the voices least represented at the table, and recognizing that what hurts you hurts me, and what hurts me hurts you - these are essential for our growth as individuals, communities, and as children of God.
I am far from perfect. I have growing edges and I am not afraid to
hear that I’ve made mistakes because that helps me to learn and grow. My promise is that I will show up to hear, to
connect, and to grow. Hopefully in so
doing, I also give others the opportunity to show up, hear, connect and grow as
well. That is my hope for serving as a
co-moderator: to have those opportunities to really listen and share stories, but
also to deeply connect others, encourage bridging, and help us all to grow in
our following of Christ in the way of loving our neighbors.
