Days 12 (because yesterday I wrote in the morning) and 13

     So we have really launched into our visits of California gardens and began with those in Northern CA, especially those closer to home.

    Yesterday we went to Jensen Botanical Gardens in Carmichael and then went to UC Davis and walked their 3 1/2 mile loop that is surrounded by different types of gardens. This day was surprising in so many ways. The Jensen Botanical Gardens was listed as one of the gardens one MUST see if doing a "best gardens in CA" tour.  It was a nice garden, but unexpectedly small.  The UC Davis gardens weren't listed at all.  I found them by googling "gardens near Davis" and that's the only reason we found them at all.  But they were AMAZING, and expansive and just overwhelmingly beautiful.  Truly a wonderful surprise addition to our trip.  A few pics:

    Today we went to San Francisco where we visited pretty much every garden in Golden Gate park including the Conservatory of Flowers, the Shakespeare Garden, the Japanese Tea Garden, SF Botanical Gardens and Queen Wilhelmina Tulip Garden, among others.  I really love the San Francisco gardens, especially the Botanical Gardens.  My favorite part is the redwood trees area.  I could sit among the trees and just listen to the deep and calming silence for hours.

Pictures:   

    At the same time, it was too much. I've been gifted with a grant for my sabbatical. The grant application required me to put down exactly what we'd be using the money for, where, when, exact amounts, etc.  But the price of everything has gone up, so we are trying to save money where we can, including squeezing many gardens into one day to cut back on food, gas and bridge costs, if nothing else. But squeezing all SF gardens into one day meant that I was often thinking, "okay, what do we need to see before I can cross this one off the list." "What time do we need to be done in order to not spend three hours on the bridge trying to get home for the night?"  This is not the purpose of visiting these gardens. I remembered a quote from the movie A Room with a View, based on E.M. Forster's book, "We residents sometimes pity you poor tourists not a little. Handed about like parcels from Venice to Florence to Rome, unconscious of anything outside Baedeker, anxious to get done and go on elsewhere...towns, rivers, palaces, all mixed up in an inextricable whirl."  That's not how I want to spend this time. 

     I realize I'm probably beginning to sound a bit like a broken record with the mantra, "I've got to slow down" but it remains true.  So maybe the deeper question I need to ask myself is why I'm in such a hurry to see it all, to experience it all.  And I think it's the growing awareness of how short life really is.  I don't want to waste it, and I've become afraid of reaching the end before I've done everything I want to do. So with that knowledge of the source of the rushing, I need to remind myself strongly and firmly that rushing through and trying to squeeze in all the things I want to see and experience does not in fact allow me to truly experience nor see them at all.  

    Tomorrow we go to Filoli.  And that is the only garden on the list.  It will just be me and youngest.  I am looking forward to a quieter, calmer day, as well as time with my child.  I plan to do a lot of sitting and listening.

    At the same time, I have to say I've enjoyed all the walking and it's good training for the Camino... 🥰