Day 3

     I've been mostly focusing on the back yard.  It's a retreat for me, a place to sit and think as well as to plant and garden. That being said, today I did some weed pulling and planted a couple more lantana in the front. The front needs a great deal of work, and honestly, I'm thinking it needs a "back to basics" approach of really planning and thinking through how I want it to be.  There is a rock "necklace" that goes around a big dirt area.  But the rocks are now infested with weeds and will need to either be completely pulled out and redone, or I need to figure out something different to do in that area... perhaps another walking path like I've put in the back.   

    In the mean time I've tried to make a lantana section in the dirt part.  It's a drought resistant/heat resistant plant as well as very pretty, which is why I planted these. However, I'm not having great success with the lantana.  I think it may be because they are full sun plants and the big tree in the front of my yard is shading these plants too much. I may need to hire someone to work on our trees a bit... this one in particular wants to take over the world, and may need a little pruning to encourage it to remember its limitations (ha!).

    At any rate, here are a few pictures of the front

Before: 

After:

    It's honestly hard to see the difference in these photos, but the amount of weeds I pulled filled our green bin entirely. And there are two new lantanas, which in the "before" picture are still in pots and are now in the ground.  I plan to do some sheet mulching around them, but I'm waiting on the mulch to arrive. 

    I also planted more in the back yard. The plants are expensive (as is the mulch I ordered!), so I've been thinking about which plants I already have that I might be able to divide and then plant in other places.  I'll save more pictures of the back yard for tomorrow.  

    The rest of today I am spending with eldest child.  We walk, we talk, we eat... it's all good. Fridays are usually my day off and I try to set aside time for eldest on those days. But almost every Friday something comes up that prevents us having the time we really need. Today was good. It was important to reconnect.

    Today's lesson?  There were several.  First, one of my parishioners lives in my neighborhood and I saw him walk by with his dog.  I tried to call him, he waved but didn't stop. I think he's respecting that I'm on sabbatical, but I found myself feeling sad. While I need this time away to not work for a spell, I also don't want that to damage or cut off relationships, and that includes with parishioners. So what does that mean?  Well, it means I don't want us to ignore each other if we pass each other.  I don't want to feel isolated or alienated. The question is how to do that while still getting some distance from work.  I honestly don't know how, and this will be a lesson I need to learn. This sabbatical thing is weird, and I'm still trying to get a handle on it.

    Second, I've not been sleeping well. Last night my mind was whirring with thoughts and concerns about Presbytery, about the physical therapy I need to be doing for my knee and foot (though I can't find anyone with whom there are appointment openings. No one is open until June, which is too late since we will be out of the country. So frustrating and what a commentary again on our medical system!!), and of course about the church and my work. As a result, when I finally did fall asleep, it meant I slept in to 8am. I can't remember the last time I didn't get up until 8.  I usually am up now around 5:30, so this is a huge shift. But it also felt really good to let my own body's rhythms assert themselves and decide the schedule, without the electronic alarm being the ultimate authority. 

    Third, as I worked on my front yard, I thought about the fact that I've always considered that a "full sun" area when in fact, because of the big tree, it is anything BUT full sun. It reminded me of a situation one of my pastor friends recently shared with me. She said her congregation has held on to a strong mythology that the church is not growing and that people who come to visit never return. The truth is quite the opposite: though it is a very small church, they just had almost a dozen new members join, increasing church membership by almost 15%.  Once people believe something, it can be very difficult to dissuade them from those beliefs. Facts contrary to beliefs will be ignored, discounted, or explained away.  As I work in my yard, I am getting to know it better.  I am learning what areas are full sun and what areas get a lot more shade than I realized. I am adjusting, either by pruning back the big trees or by choosing different plants to go into specific areas. Also, I'm realizing that as plants grow, the areas change. What used to be full-sun, no longer is because of the trees that have come to shade those areas. Being willing to learn, each day, what is new, what is different can apply to people as well. What we knew of someone ten years ago may no longer be true today.  What we knew of groups ten years ago may no longer be true today.  But sometimes we almost force people and situations to stay the same by refusing to see the changes that are happening. It benefits no one and nothing. Today I am working to keep my eyes open.

    And God? I see God in the learning, in the plants, in the time with eldest and in the beauty of this spring day.