Waters Shall Break Forth in the Wilderness

 

Isaiah 35:4-7a

Mark 7:24-37

 

Over and over, people were told not to bother Jesus.  The children were told to go away, Jairus was told not to bother the teacher, women were scorned for talking to him and despised for trying, others who were “less desirable” were told to go away. 

At some level I think we understand this.  Jesus was seen as very important.  And his time was understood to be, therefore, very valuable.  The disciples understood that he had a mission and they didn’t’ want Jesus to be bothered with those who were “beneath” him.  They didn’t want him distracted or his precious time used up by people whom they didn’t see as valuable or important to Jesus’ work or mission.  It’s like people keeping homeless folk from talking to the President.  The same idea: he is important, they are seen as “less so”.

In this case, the woman we only know as a “Greek” woman, “Syrophoenician by birth” approaches Jesus and even Jesus seems to want to send her away.  And he doesn’t just tell her that he only came to serve the Jews, which is what he was intending to communicate, he also insults her in one of the worse possible ways.  Today being called a dog or being called a female dog is highly insulting.  It was not any less so in Jesus’ time.  To tell her that he is there to feed the children, the Jews, and it isn’t right to throw the food to the dogs, is highly insulting.  Even Jesus, it would seem from this comment, had moments where he couldn’t seem to escape the pervasive humanness of ranking people. 

               We all rank people.  All of us do.  Years ago now, I remember going to visit a parishioner who was in an extended care facility and when I walked into the room, I saw an older person in a wheel chair sitting next to the parishioner.  I had no problem joining them in conversation, interrupting their time together because I made assumptions – she was either a family member, or maybe another patient who had wandered in to talk.  I felt okay entering their group for a few minutes as long as I could “rank” them in this way.  But when it turned out that she was actually the physical therapist, then I felt that I had imposed on her time.  And I excused myself.  She “ranked higher” as one of the staff at the hospital, and my time with the patient took a back seat.  But as I left, it caused me to think for a few minutes about how I rank people. 

I experienced this from the other side when my last congregation housed families for a couple weeks at a time in a program very similar to our “Winter’s Nights” program.  I learned to avoid telling our guests that I was the pastor because my experience had been that once they knew that, they would often treat me differently.  And while that different treatment tended to be greater respect, I still didn’t want it.  Life sometimes separates us into the haves and have-nots, but I’m all too aware that that line can be all too easily crossed.  My being the pastor there, and someone with a home and income did not and does not make me “better” or more worthy of respect, attention, or care than any of the guests or helpers who were here.  And that singling out, that difference in treatment made me uneasy.  We are all children of God.  I am not more deserving of respect because of my status here. 

Another pastor friend of mine told me of a time when he was mopping the floor in the church kitchen when several of the church deacons came in.  “Oh no, pastor!  That is not for YOU to do!” they exclaimed, again with the same “You are too good for this work!” attitude, one he worked actively to eradicate, but one that was extremely hard to stamp out. 

When I lived in Ohio, I was part of a small ecumenical pastors’ group that met once a month (this is a different group from my weekly lectionary group).  Our churches were all within the same small town in the Cleveland suburbs and we worked on mission projects in the community together: feeding, summer children’s camps, etc..  One time when we met I remembered talking about what an amazing group of pastors we had in this area, who worked so very well together and were really and truly colleagues and friends to one another.  One of the other pastors commented that yes, in other ministerial groups of which he had been a part, there had often been a lot of “posturing” between the pastors, with some trying to claim an upper hand, or more prominence based on things like the size of their congregations, the work their churches did, or how long they had been in ministry.  I frankly do not understand that choice.  We should all have the humility to see that we are all children of God.  That posturing is an arrogance that is unbefitting to those who would serve God. 

Our own Anti-Racism group recently finished reading the book, Caste, in which the author, Isabel Wilkerson talks about the cultural ranking of people that we have in this society.  We know these ranks because we are taught them in extremely covert ways throughout our lives by our communities: These are not innate rankings, but socially prescribed and socially created rankings that have become entrenched in our society.  Women are ranked under men, children are ranked under adults, people with money are ranked higher than those without, people who have white collar jobs tend to be ranked above blue collar jobs, the homeless are ranked extremely low.  And people of color are often on the very bottom of our ranking systems.

But Jesus shows us a different way.  Jesus stepped in time and time again when the disciples would push someone away, send someone away, and tell them to leave Jesus alone.  Again and again Jesus had to stop that action on the part of his disciples, “let the little children come to me” he said, and “leave her alone.  She is doing a good thing for me.”  Those who were outcast, considered unclean because of illness and infirmity were given his special attention.  Those who were ranked on the bottom of the culture at the time, those assumed to be damaged because they deserved to be damaged were not beneath his notice but were the targets of his notice.  The second story in the gospel today, about the deaf man is one such story.  He, too would have been seen as “less than” and would have been pushed away: it would have been assumed that his infirmity was a sign that he was less worthy.  But Jesus took the time to heal him, not only restoring his physical disability, but also restoring him to right relationship within his community.  He specifically and intentionally chose to give attention and care to those everyone else in the culture ranked lower.  Also notice that he confronted a basic idea of what it meant to be “deserving”.  Jairus and his daughter and the women with the hemorrhage may not have been “deserving” of Jesus’ healing according to the codes of the time, or by any other ranking.  But we are told very little about them.  We don’t know if they were “deserving” or not.  What we do know is that Jesus didn’t ask.  He offered the gifts he had, of healing, of time, of attention and care, to all of them despite knowing or not knowing whether or not they deserved it. 

I love this story of the Syrophoenician woman, even though it was a hard conversation, a painful conversation that he had with this woman.  I love it because it is through that conversation that we hear clearly that Jesus’ mission was now to everyone,  not just the Jews, and that the last “rank” -in this case the differences in religion, geography and even ethnicity, were destroyed.  They no longer applied.  “Rank” or “Caste” were thrown out.

In today’s passage from Isaiah we hear another passage of reversals.  “The eyes of the blind will be opened, the ears of the deaf will be cleared.  The lame will leap like the deer, and the tongue of the speechless will sing.  Waters will spring up in the desert and streams in the wilderness.  The burning sand will become a pool, and the thirsty ground, fountains of water.”  Those things that are harmed or damaged will be healed.  And that expands beyond the physical.  Those who have been held down will be raised up, and those who have been ranked lower will be found to be equally respected and valued children of God. 

We are called to be part of this new ordering of our world.  We, too, are called to bring healing, reconciliation, and to do away with the rankings that separate us and which leave some better off than others.  So what does that look like for us? 

Well, what are your gifts?  What are your resources?  And to whom do you offer them?  If you have the gift of music, do you play for those who can’t afford the cost of a ticket to come see you perform?  If you have the gift of resources, do you share them, with those who are ranked as less, on the bottom according to society?  If you have the gift of healing, do you offer to heal even those who can’t pay the usual doctor’s fee?  The list goes on.  The confrontation to our own choices and behaviors goes on as well.

I have shared with you before that at another church where I served, our congregation had become very close to an unhoused man who at one point fell and was put in the hospital with serious damage.  We found that because he could not pay, most of the hospital staff ignored him unless church members were there to push for his care. 

In one of the congregations where I served I also remember a person who was very socially awkward being treated very subtly but consistently as a second class citizen.  He was ranked as “less than” and he was treated as “less than” by the other members of the congregation.

We are called to confront that kind of treatment and to remind the world that we are all loved children of God, none valued more than another despite the way we would treat and value people differently.

I am so grateful for this community of people who treat each other, despite our differences, as people deserving of respect and care.  I am so deeply appreciative of your kindness to one another, the respect you show one another.  We are called to continue that in every place that we go with everyone that we encounter.  Thanks be to God.  Amen.

              

Be Quick to Love and Make Haste to be Kind

Psalm 131
Mark 5:21-43

               “Your daughter has died.  Why bother the teacher any longer” they said to Jairus.  Over and over, people were told not to bother Jesus.  The children were told to go away, others who were “less desirable” were told to go away.  Jesus was important, you see.  And the disciples didn’t want him bothered with those who were “beneath” him.  

               We rank people.  All of us do.  I went to visit a parishioner, years ago, who was in an extended care facility and when I walked into the room, I saw an older person in a wheelchair sitting next to the parishioner.  I went in and joined the conversation because I assumed that she was either a family member, or maybe another patient who had wandered in to talk.  I felt okay entering their group for a few minutes as long as I could “rank” them in this way.  But when it turned out that she was actually the physical therapist, then I felt that I had imposed on her time.  And I excused myself.  She “ranked higher” as one of the staff at the hospital, and my time with the patient took a back seat.  But as I left, it caused me to think for a few minutes about how I rank people.  I experienced this from the other side when, at my last church, we worked in a program similar to Winter Nights in which we housed four families at our church for a period of time each year.  I would never tell our guests that I was the pastor there because when they found out, they treated me differently.  And while that different treatment tended to be greater respect, I still didn’t want that.  Life sometimes separates us into the haves and have-nots, but the reality is that we are all children of God.  My being the pastor of that church, and someone with a home and income did not make me “better” or more worthy of respect, attention, or care than any of the guests or helpers who were there.  And that singling out, that difference in treatment made me uneasy.  Again, we are all children of God.  I am not more deserving of respect because of my status.  They are not less deserving of respect simply because they are in need of help.  Another pastor friend of mine told me of a time when he was mopping the floor in the church kitchen when several of the church deacons came in.  “Oh no, pastor!  That is not for YOU to do!” they exclaimed, again with the same “You are too good for this work!” attitude, one he worked actively to eradicate, but one that was extremely hard to stamp out.  I was part of an Ecumenical pastor’s group in Ohio which worked extremely well together: we did many mission activities and started new food programs and children and youth programs together.  We supported each other and worked well together, but at one of our meetings, one of the other pastors commented that in another ministerial group of which he had been a part, there had often been a lot of “posturing” between the pastors.  We should all have the humility to see that we are all children of God.  That posturing is an arrogance that is unbefitting to those who would serve God. 

               To quote JK Rowling, “If you want to know what a person is like, take a good look at how they treat their inferiors, not their equals.”

Connie Schultz echoes that in her article, “The Real Gift of Doing Unto Others” (Life Happens, New York: Random House, 2006).  She wrote, “My mother didn’t have a lot of advice for her three daughters when it came to men, but her one cautionary note rang with the clarity of church bells: Don’t marry him until you see how he treats the waitress….  How they wore… advantages, she said, would reveal their character.  Anyone who mistreated subordinates was a bully and a bore…. We were expected to use our best manners with every waitress, housekeeper, bellhop, parking lot attendant, mechanic, salesclerk – anybody who waited on us or someone else for a living…. Her rules were simple and intractable: Make eye contact.  Smile at them and call them ‘ma’am’ or ‘sir’.  Thank them for their help.  If they’re gumpy, don’t yell at them.  Instead, tilt your head just so and say, ‘You must be having a bad day.’  And never, ever rob them of their dignity….Do we know the names of the servers in our company cafeteria, the person who keeps the washrooms clean, the security guard who nods hello to us day in and day out?  When is the last time we asked the clerk at the dry cleaners how her family is doing?  Have we ever?  How often do we greet a weary cashier with a loud, disgusted sigh?  … We won’t change the world by smiling and asking how they’re holding up, but if you doubt for a moment your kindness makes a difference, let me tell you one more story about my mom.  She never held elected office, was never a company president or in charge of anyone other than her own four kids.  But when she died, more than eight hundred people showed up for her calling hours.  I heard tender stories about my mom from almost all of them.  I met the hairdresser…, the clerk.. at the corner market, the man who rotated her tires, the seamstress who hemmed her pants.”

At another church where I served, the members were intimately involved with a program that served the homeless.  Through our work and through our time with the homeless people in our community, we developed a very close relationship with one homeless man in particular.  This man was very loving, very giving, very caring.  He began attending our church and when he did so, he offered to run our sound system, he helped with the gardening, and he was always on hand to help us in any way.  He was not unintelligent, but he was a severe alcoholic who could not seem to get through the disease to a place where he could give up drinking.  He would give it up for a week or two and then something would happen and he would be drinking again.  We saw him fight for his life against this disease and we saw him losing the battle.  At one point in our relationship with “George”, his drinking led him to fall and to hit his head very seriously on the street.  The police found him hours later and took him to the local hospital.  His injuries, especially to his brain, were very serious and he was admitted for long term hospitalization and rehabilitation.  However, when the nurses and doctors at the hospital came to understand that he was a homeless, jobless, resource-less man, they gave up caring for him.  He remained at the hospital for quite a while, because he was unable to walk a straight line, he could not speak clearly and had very little control over his movements.  But in large part he was at the hospital for so long because they would not provide the care to get him to a place where they could discharge him.  The only time that “George” received any attention – the only time he would be brought his meals even – was when one of us was there to insist on it.  This was a “Christian” hospital, and the doctors and nurses who were hired to work there were people of faith.  But they did not see the contradiction in their faith when they ranked people and served them according to their resources, rather than according to their needs. 

This is NOT how Jesus acted.  And it is not what Jesus calls us to do.  Despite the reaction of those around him, including his disciples, Jesus found time to be present with “the least of these” every time.  He gave of his healing, of his energy, of his attention, even to those who didn’t somehow “rank” or “deserve” it. 

As you know, I often end with the “Life is short.  And we have little time with which to grace the lives of those with whom we travel.  So be quick to love. And make haste to be kind.”  To me these are not just words to be said.  They are words to live by.  Micah 6:8 says, “What does the Lord require of you?  To do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God.”  And Jesus shows us this again and again.  He was kind to people, no matter who they were, no matter what their education or resources or position, or abilities or gifts or personalities even.  He was kind and loving. 

So, what does that look like, then, practically?  First, I think, like Jesus, we are called to offer the gifts we have even to those who are “undeserving”.  Jairus and his daughter and the women with the hemorrhage may not have deserved Jesus’ healing.  We don’t know if they were “deserving” or not.  Scripture doesn’t spend any time telling us about their rank or their position except to point out that Jesus served even those others rejected.  We never hear of Jesus asking people about their backgrounds or their positions.  He offered the gifts he had, of healing, of attention, of wisdom, of guidance, of teaching, to all of them despite what he knew or didn’t know about whether or not they deserved it.  We are called to do the same.  What are your gifts?  What are your resources?  To whom do you offer them?  If you have the gift of music, do you play for those who can’t afford the cost of a ticket to come see you perform?  If you have the gift of resources, do you share them with those who have less?  If you have the gift of healing, do you offer to heal even those who can’t pay the usual doctor’s fee? 

Another way that we can strive to be kind is with our words.  I love the acronym THINK when it comes to speaking. 

Is it True

Is it Helpful

Is it Inspiring

Is it Necessary

AND Is it Kind.

Sometimes we can get stuck at the “it is true” and forget to consider these other things when we speak.  But there is another helpful saying too, “Given the choice between being right and being kind, choose to be kind.”  Of course we don’t want to lie, but there are other important reasons to filter what we say, to phrase what we have to say with grace and compassion, and even to refrain from speaking at all.  Is what we have to say helpful?  Is it necessary?  And again, is it kind?  It is not necessary to say every thought that goes through our heads.  But sometimes I think we get so stuck on the “is it true” that we forget that we don’t have to say things that aren’t kind, helpful, and necessary.  (And inspiring?  How much of what we say is actually INSPIRING?). 

               We act with kindness when we truly look at people, all people.  We are kind by listening to people, all people.  We are kind by offering our gifts to people, despite who they are and how they rank.  We are kind with our words, and we are kind with our caring.  And my experience is that when we are kind, we often find that the love follows when it wasn’t there to begin with.  Our kindness leads us to care more deeply.  And our caring leads us to be more truly kind. 

               In case you are unsure about this, kindness deeply matters.  A friend of mine shared a story with me this last week that his great grandfather had been very poor for a time and had had to move very often.  He often was reduced to having very few possessions at all, just what he could fit in a wagon or, as an adult, in a small car.  None the less, when he died, they found within his possessions a box of letters written to him by his Sunday school teacher – words of kindness, words of care, words of compassion that he had carried with him through all the downsizing, through all the moves, through all the poverty.  He carried these letters because they were so valuable to him.  Those words of kindness and care were that important.

               I think about the story, Wonder, (R.J. Palacio. New York: Alfred A Knopf, 2012) which is at heart really a story all about kindness.  In the last chapter, the principal of the school where the story takes place says this, “Shall we make a new rule of life… always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?...  What a marvelous line, isn’t it?  Kinder than is necessary.  Because it’s not enough to be kind.  One should be kinder than needed.  Why I love that line, that concept, is that it reminds me that we carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness.  And what does that mean? … How do we know we’ve been kind?  What is being kind, anyway?... In Under the Eye of the Clock, by Christopher Nolan, the main character is a young man who is facing some extraordinary challenges.  There’s this one part where someone helps him: a kid in his class.  On the surface, it’s a small gesture.  But to this young man, whose name is Joseph, it’s… well, if you’ll permit me… ‘It was at moments such as these that Joseph recognized the face of God in human form.  It glimmered in their kindness to him, it glowed in their keenness, it hinted in their caring, indeed it caressed in their gaze.’  … Such a simple thing, kindness.  Such a simple thing.  A nice word of encouragement given when needed.  An act of friendship.  A passing smile…  If every single person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary – the world really would be a better pace.  And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere,, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.” (p 300).

               You are a wonderfully kind community.  But we are always called to deepen, to grow, and to be more fully and deeply kind and loving, to all we encounter.  Amen. 

Judging others...is it really as necessary as we think?

      It's true, we are surrounded by judgments.  Every day I see and hear more judgments about others. These are not opinions about differences of ideology, thought or even practice.  These are judgments on people themselves, nastiness disguised as "opinion" (and sometimes science) but meant to attack, hurt, and place "the other" into a category that is different from oneself, a category which we then wholeheartedly dismiss or condemn as unworthy of our time, attention or care.  Sometimes we dismiss a whole group of people as evil or bad, a judgment on a group that I just have never found to be accurate when applied to actual individual people. Despite what our gospels tell us about not judging others, even people who use the name "Christian" seem to judge others more and more. (And as they do this, not unexpectedly, "Christianity" is also judged more and more...hm.  Funny how that works.)  They think less about the very great difference between disagreeing with someone's thought and attacking another human being, even to the point of advocating things that would damage, kill or destroy other people. I saw it again today on two different friends' posts.  I don't need to go into the details, but the short version was that in one, most of us were called 'stupid'.  Rather than just saying, "I don't like it when you do x" or "I disagree with y", we were all called stupid.  The other categorized an entire group of people as evil, again not recognizing that there are many, many differences between people and to group a whole people as evil is not only failing to "not judge" but is also just plain inaccurate.  These judgments also stir up more anger, hostility, polarization, fear and hatred than anything else could do.  In other words, they contribute nothing positive, nothing good, nothing of value to the world.  Hatred leads to more hatred.  Judgment leads to more judgment. Killing leads to more killing.  Fear leads to anger, which leads to hatred, which leads to suffering (Yoda again).  And yet here we are.
       Both of these friends who posted these outrageously hurtful things are not usually unkind. The anonymity of the internet allows us to do that, to express fear and rage in indirect but more deeply hurtful and personally attacking (as well as inaccurate) ways than just talking directly to someone about specific things we disagree with.  But it's not just through the internet. When people get together they often are judging others as well.  "So and so is such a blank and such". As things become more tense, this inclination to attack persons rather than ideas or practices increases.
       I'll admit that until about two years ago I thought that this judging of others was what all people did, to one degree or another; that we just ARE judgmental as part of our nature. I thought that we all thought up and named for ourselves things that we didn't like about other people that we knew. I thought that when people were with friends, this was to be an expected part of what they did: talked about, judged, condemned other people, often condescendingly, always judgmentally.  I thought this - until I met David.
      David is the least "catty" person that I know.  He was divorced thirteen years ago.  And while he can tell me what happened in his marriage, he has never once bad-mouthed his ex-wife.  He talks about actions, but he names them for what they were, without judgment or condemnation but with compassion.  He also challenges me.  When I get into a "catty" place, he usually just gets very quiet and gives me "that look".  "That look" from David is simply a compassionate but concerned look that lets me know I'm acting out in non-helpful ways.  Occasionally when he hears the kids talk badly about others, he will challenge them to try to be more respectful.
      His behavior, his choice to look for and focus on and see the good in others challenges me to do the same.  And I've found it amazingly freeing.  When I can just be with someone and appreciate who they are, what they are, without feeling the need to find their "flaws" and their areas that I don't like, I tend to be more positive and appreciative about everything.  It changes my whole outlook. It also makes me kinder and more grateful for everyone I encounter.  I am looking for the good, not the bad.  I can delight in the differences between people, without needing to judge them or rank them or decide one way of being is better than another.
      The truth is, whenever I hear other people saying bad things about others, I always wonder what they say about me.  I know that people who would badmouth others to me are no doubt badmouthing me to others.  I have become increasingly uneasy with that. (In a similar vein, when people break confidences to me I become less willing to trust that they will respect the confidences I share with them, too.  If I am aware of someone treating others one way, I do not expect them to treat me differently.) But once I identified David as a person who just doesn't do that, I found that there were others, too, who focused more on the good, who choose not to judge people even as they are willing to engage ideas.  And those are the people I most want to be around.  They are people who truly look for and see the good in others.  They walk and live with compassion, grace, empathy and kindness.  And being around them encourages me to do the same.
      And in terms of judging, condemning, hating large groups of people who just believe differently than we do?  We need to be very careful about this.  Just from a faith perspective, we are told, again, not only to avoid judging, but also to love our enemies. There is no room in that for this kind of fear or hatred. No room at all. Once you love someone, they are your enemy no longer.  So even the label enemy becomes a problem.  We also need to be careful about being silent in the face of such anger, hatred and condemnation.  Once again I also find myself thinking about the Martin Niemoller's poem - 

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me."
      As I said above, it is amazingly freeing to find I don't need to judge others, just appreciate what is beautiful and good about them.  Thank you, again, David, for giving me the gift of modeling this kind of compassion, care and respect for others.  In this time of such fear, anger, hatred and polarization you model for me peace.  I can rest in that.  Thank you.