We must do things differently!

     Today as I was driving back to church after a meeting, I was stopped at a red light and noticed a very skinny and very dirty homeless man who clearly had some mental health issues, standing on the side of the road staring at his fingers and talking to them.  

    Suddenly a police officer drove through the red light, stopping in the middle of the street.  He jumped out, grabbed the homeless man, threw him on the ground, kneeled on his back and grabbed his arms in a way that I am certain broke at least one of them, screaming at him the whole time and eventually handcuffed him.  I swear, if the light hadn’t changed, I would have been able to video at least the end of this unfortunate encounter. I couldn’t believe it. Or rather, I could believe it but the fact that this behavior still continues is utterly baffling to me. This was a 6 lane road, so there were many of us who saw this, but the officer didn’t care and didn’t think he’d be challenged or corrected, probably because, again, this was a homeless and mentally ill person: someone many feel it is okay to reject and to treat like they are sub-human.

    Someone reading this might say that I had no idea what proceeded that and they would be right.  Nonetheless, this man was not putting up any resistance at all, he was laying on the ground crying in pain but not fighting this officer at all. He had nothing on him, nothing with him, nothing that could have been damaging or threatening.  There was no reason at all why this officer could not have talked to him politely, asked him questions, taken him gently in, if that is what needed to happen.

    When will we start caring about people enough to take seriously that this kind of behavior from the people who are supposed to “protect” us does not, in fact, protect us, but instead creates a society of violence, retribution, vengeance and fear? This behavior will never lead us to remember that we are all connected, and that those people we dismiss as “other” and “not worthy” are our siblings: they belong to us, and we have a responsibility to care for them, to HELP them, rather than harm them more.  

    I keep thinking of a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenging it?”  She said that a long time ago, but have we moved any closer at all to true understanding, compassion, and caring for one another?

    Our Old Testament law of “an eye for an eye” was supposed to mitigate the amount of retaliatory damage we could inflict on the other.  Jesus took it even further, “I say to you, do NOT return evil for evil!”  So many people claim to believe and yet I know very, very few who really want to help those who do damage rather than try to avenge them.

    The truth is that our retaliatory responses make nothing better.  Our punishments do not lessen the amount of crime in our society.  I’ve written about this before so I will not go into the details here.  But this doesn’t work.  Restorative justice DOES.  It goes so much further in terms of changing people for the better so that crimes are not repeated and people can re-enter society better and more able to be well-functioning and contributing individuals.  

    This has to begin with what we see as acceptable responses by our law enforcement to those they don’t like or those with whom they are angry.  Being okay with the way police abuse even those we reject has to stop.  And it has to stop with us.  

Gender boxing

          We are doing a bible study on Thursdays on women in the bible.  It's a very good study, and I am enjoying the readings very much.  But it is also bringing up for me some personal reflection, frustration, and struggle.  As we learn about and read about these women in the bible who were, in many cases, just attachments to men (for example, if they couldn't have sons or didn't have sons, they weren't valued), who were often abused and mistreated by competing women (Sarah towards Hagar, for example),  who were shut down and silenced, or punished unfairly (Miriam being punished for something both she and Aaron were involved in, and then her voice simply disappearing from the texts), I'm realizing both how far we've come, but also, how many of these ways of seeing, treating and mistreating women are still in play. And I found myself reflecting on several examples from my own life:

        1. I was part of a group of pastors scheduled to speak to a congressman about poverty issues in CA.  The group met ahead of time to plan and organize our conversation.  When the "leader" ( an older woman) came to me, she asked me, "How do you want to be introduced?  Barbara?  Pastor Barbara?  Rev. Barbara?"  I responded that I didn't actually care, but that if she was going to say "Rev. Barbara" she should use the full title, which was "Rev. Dr. Barbara".  Her response?  "Oh, we don't want to intimidate the congressman."  Huh.  She had had no problem introducing the men using their titles.  After all, the men would be heard better when carrying a title with a certain weight - they would be given greater respect, and generally valued more for their opinions, if they are seen as having more authority.  But as a woman, my title apparently was "intimidating."  And, as the dutiful woman that I was, rather than pointing this double standard out, I just "didn't make waves" or rather, "didn't becoming uppity" and instead just said, "well, whatever you want to use then is fine."  

    2.  I was part of a group of pastors who recently wrote a letter confronting a certain decision that had been made in the larger church.  Again, I was one of several folk, though each of us wrote our own parts.  A person who read the letter made a comment to me that I obviously had a temper issue, one that was inappropriate for me as a pastor, based on the part of the letter I wrote.  I went back and re-read the letter - ALL of it.  I hadn't felt angry when I wrote my part, just matter of fact.  I stated my opinion, but not in harsh or attacking language.  In contrast, one of the other pastors even said in their part that they were "angered" by the decision that was made.  But this other pastor was not "confronted" or accused of being angry.  I was upset by this, but also curious about it.  So, as an experiment, I took the letter, took out all names of authors and just put "Pastor A, Pastor B, Pastor C,..." under the different sections and sent it to a couple different friends.  I said, "Based on just the words, tell me what you can about each of these writers."  

    Without the names (which indicated the genders) of the writers, they read each of the parts.  Pretty universally the conversation which followed went like this, "Well, it sounds like there are some well- thought out comments here."  

    I would ask, "Did any of these pastors sound angry?"  

    "Well, the one pastor said he was angry, but otherwise, no, it just sounded matter of fact."  (Again, this was in reference to another pastor's writing, and not the part I had written).

    Hm.  There is often an assumption of "hysteria," "anger," "emotionalism" attached to women's words.  My portion of the letter would probably have carried more weight, been less easy to dismiss as "emotional" or "angry" if I had left off my first name and just used initials.

    3.  In the last twenty years I've been witness to several situations in which a male pastor has used his power inappropriately towards a female parishioner, taking advantage, crossing lines, becoming "involved" despite the rules against it.  While we have many studies on this now that outline how this happens, the power differential that is at play and the damage that this does to the victims of this behavior, in each case when the male clergy has been confronted in this behavior, people have been quick to defend him, and equally quick to attack the woman parishioner.  She has been accused of "seducing" or "using her feminine wiles" to "bait" him.  In one case, the woman was just barely 18, but it was still seen as her fault, as if the male pastor, with all his power and authority, simply could not be expected to have self-control or restraint around women.

    4.  I cannot begin to tell you how many times parishioners have commented on my appearance.  By "commented on my appearance" I don't mean saying things like "I like that dress" or "those shoes are cute".  What I mean is that male parishioners have made comments about certain parts of my appearance, including comments about the size of certain body parts.  It has become less common in recent years (is this due to a growing awareness of the inappropriateness of this, or is it because of my age?), but it still happens occasionally even now.  

    I am happy with how far we have come.  When I read these stories in scripture and realize that women can now be pastors, can now even be Vice-President of the United States, I see how very far we have come.  But we still have a long way to go, baby.  And I'm hopeful we will get there sooner rather than later.

Hypocrisy

Matthew 23:27-39

Luke 14:1-6

I want to begin this morning by having you look for a minute at the beginning of chapter 23 in Matthew.  As you can see the entire chapter of 23 is about the hypocrisy of the Pharisees.  But the chapter  opens by recognizing the authority of the scribes and Pharisees, acknowledging that they sit on "Moses' seat" (v. 2). They are teachers and interpreters of the law in the line of Moses, the original lawgiver and the most important figures in Judaism; they are due deference and respect in religious matters. After all, Jesus came not to "abolish but to fulfill" the law (Matt. 5:17).  As a whole, Matthew labors to show Jesus' reverence for and continuity with Judaism. The problem is not Jewish religious traditions or teachings; it’s not the pharisees religious traditions or teachings.  Jesus commends them to everyone: "Do whatever they teach you and follow it" (v. 3).

The problem here is that the Pharisees misuse their authority, misuse scripture and misuse the law. They behave in ways that are counter to the truth teach. They speak of glorifying God, but they seem most interested in self-aggrandizement. They speak of orienting their entire lives toward God, but they draw everyone's eyes toward themselves. They speak of their responsibility for the people of God, yet "are unwilling to lift a finger" to lighten the people's burdens (v. 4). They proclaim that they are people of God, yet they fail to do the basics of caring for one another.  But what is primary, they are MORE concerned about the laws than they are about the people.  And as Jesus points out, “Sabbath was made for the people, not people for the Sabbath.”  In other words, the laws were made to serve us, to make us better, to make us whole, to help us to be closer to God.  We were not made simply to follow the laws.  That means, in all things, that situations must be brought into account.  In today’s passage from Luke we see this with much more clarity.  Yes, it was against the law to heal on the Sabbath or do anything on the Sabbath that required work.  But Jesus broke this law for the sake of healing.  He did this repeatedly.  His disciples broke the law by picking grain on the sabbath: again, they did work so that they might eat.  I cannot stress this strongly enough because this is very central to Jesus’ teachings: we are to help and love one another.  The laws enforce that.  But as with every construct, every rule, every rigidity, the things that are made to serve us can also be misused to hurt people, to harm them, to injure them.  When that is the case, Jesus was clear, the needs of the people, of God’s people, of all people, MUST and do come first. 

Where the hypocrisy part falls into this is that people are generally willing to bend the laws when it serves them, and then they strengthen and insist on the laws in ways that harm other people.  As Jesus said, “If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?”  Of course they would.  They would break the Sabbath law to save one of their own.  But when it comes to healing or caring for others, they want Jesus to wait for the appropriate day, not recognizing that each day lost is a lifetime for a person in pain, in isolation and in struggle. 

In these actions, the scribes and Pharisees were not unusual or unique.  The Biblical commentary, Feasting on the Word  said it this way: “It is so easy to confuse our interests with God's purposes, our power with God's sovereignty, our standing with God's glory. Whether we are referring to our individual or collective lives, human beings have a strong tendency to create false and sinful hierarchies that displace God's authority; we have a proclivity to ignore or rebel against God's kingdom in order to protect our minor fiefdoms. This is a particularly distasteful, yet common, inclination among religious people and their leaders. Constant reference to God and God's purposes can easily lend our own aims, desires, and identities a semblance of holiness that is sanctimonious and hypocritical.  Pious words and orthodox convictions alone do not make a person faithful…. The true measure of faithfulness is found not in the words one speaks or the doctrines one accepts but in the orientation of one's heart.  Is one's whole heart and life oriented toward God, or is it aimed at something less than God (Matt. 6:19-34)?” – Feasting on the Word. 

I love that.  This is not about our ability to follow rules.  This is about where our hearts are oriented.  Do we walk with love?  Do we see with love?  Do we interact with others with love?  If so, our hearts are oriented towards God.  When we fail to do so, we fail to be oriented towards God.  It’s that simple.  When we are drawing our circles tighter, when we are pulling in and taking care only of our own, when we are reacting out of fear, our hearts are not with God and we will be seen as the hypocrites that we all, at times, can be. 

As I said, we are not immune from this. We all have heard about Westboro Baptist Church.  It gets itself in the news a great deal lately.  This specific church looks “pious”.  They look “religious”.  They are using the bible and quoting rules, and saying things like “God Says”…. But what is coming out of their mouths?  Hatred.  They’ve missed the central message of the Bible and of faith.  And because of that, everyone else sees them as the hypocrites that they are: preaching a God of Love with mouths full of hate.  This is the number one reason people don’t come to church.  Too much hypocrisy.  And we can see it in some of these congregations and we know the public is right to condemn it. 

But the challenge I want to offer today is a recognition that ALL of us have our hypocrisies.  All of us do.  Can you think of something you do that is hypocritical? 

Some minor examples: I have a friend who is constantly complaining about other people’s driving: always, she is yelling about how terrible the drivers around her are.  Yet, I once had the opportunity to sit as a passenger while she drove, and I have no idea how she has made it alive for as long as she has!  Her driving is absolutely atrocious!  She looked at me while she was talking to me, more than she did the road, and then honked and got upset when cars “mysteriously” appeared in front of her!  When she wasn’t talking to me, she was talking on her cell-phone; one, by the way, that did not have an ear piece.  At one point she was holding the phone with one hand, eating with the other, looking at me with her eyes, following inches away from the car in front of us, though we were driving 75 miles an hour (so much for the 3 second rule), swerving all over the place, and cursing and swearing at all the other drivers on the road!  

In my family, we have a number of people who are pack rats.  What is interesting is that each of us sees it in each other, and none of us sees it in ourselves. 

Another friend of mine loves to correct others for failing to be polite.  She is quick to point out, in front of others, I might add, when I or others have been “rude” by failing to use polite-nesses such as “please.”  She seems oblivious to the fact that she is being just as rude by pointing this out to all of us in this public, humiliating way.

 And of course, I have my own hypocrisies.  Some of which I see, but no doubt there are others I don’t see.  I spout love, preach love, stand on love as the law of the land.  I preach about the importance of really seeing people and trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.  But there are times, of course, when I fail to do that and am crabby with others, snippy with others.  Especially when my kids are involved, it is harder for me to really listen to anyone I think has been unfair or has mistreated them (like their teachers on occasion).  This isn’t fair to these teachers.  They have tons of students they are trying to get to know, and stuff happens.  I could have expressed the same things in less cranky ways, but I don’t always. 

I found myself remembering a time, years ago now, when I felt very betrayed by a friend.  I don’t want or need to go into the specifics of that because they aren’t important.  What is important is that I became very self-righteous about it.  I knew I had been wronged and so standing on religious language, I went on the attack.  I let go of all of my years of training that tell me to use “I” statements and instead I “corrected” the other, using learnings that remain meaningful to me, but which, when used as a weapon, frankly do and did more harm than good.  This hypocrisy in myself caused me to become critical of others while failing to look at my own part in the issues.  We do this.  Leaders, especially religious ones, are in a dangerous position because, in standing on scripture, we can become very self-righteous about what we believe to be “truth”, the “truth of God” even.  But taking that stand when it is aimed as a weapon against others can cause damage and harm to others.  There is a reason why the people Jesus attacks most strongly throughout the gospels are the religious leaders: the scribes and pharisees.  From that position of power, it is extremely easy to misuse God’s words in ways that harm others.  It just is.  And when religious leaders fail to be self-reflective, it is an extremely dangerous thing.  We’ve seen this again and again: religious leaders caught in the same activities they are criticizing others for, religious leaders proclaiming that it is okay to destroy or damage other people, religious leaders picking and choosing scriptures and ignoring whole other areas (such as the gospels!!) in order to prove their points. 

All of us have paradoxes within us.  All of us have contradictions, and ways in which we criticize others without seeing the flaws in ourselves.  We all do.  It’s part of being human.  It becomes hypocrisy when the basic beliefs we have, the foundational tenets of our lives do not match our behavior.  When we declare that we believe in the God of Jesus, a God of love and grace, a God who calls us to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned; but then we act only on our own best interests and fail to even try to love our neighbors as ourselves.  And while it is easy to point our fingers at others who do this, especially public figures (and the amount of hypocrisy currently is so much, it’s frankly hard not to point those fingers), looking at our own hypocrisies is much harder.

One of the greatest ways we can avoid being hypocrites, or at least minimize our hypocrisy, is by taking the time to look at ourselves, honestly, openly.  When we cannot do that, fortunately, we have each other to help us out.  For we are in a community that is supposed to care about our spiritual growth.  And as I’ve said before, caring about one another’s spiritual growth means being part of helping one another grow better, grow more honest about our flaws and our gifts, grow in our relationship with God.  The other way we can avoid hypocrisy is to really take private and personal time with God, being honest and open.  We can use that time to listen to God.  We can use that time to work on our “hidden” judgements and flaws.  We can use that time to just BE real - because God knows the real us anyway - better than we know ourselves.

            The thing is that before God we are all equal.  This is hard for us to get because we see inequalities around us every day.  Some are smarter, some are more successful, some are braver, some are happier, some are more popular.  But again, before God we are all equals.  We are all God’s children, all loved, all wanted.  Our gifts, therefore, the things that in this world make us unequal are things we are called on to use to help God’s people, to help the community, to give to the community.  Our gifts aren’t for our own glory.  They are for God’s glory and to help others.  When we start feeling that they somehow make us better, we only get into trouble with them.

The thing that heals hypocrisy is grace.  We are called to remember that everything we have has been given to us not because we deserve it, not because we’ve earned it, but because God loves each of us so much that we are created surrounded by abundance.  As we see throughout the gospels, this extends to loving us even when we mess up as Jesus loved and forgave the disciples again and again for their blindness, their stupidity, their inability to see and understand and follow in the way they were asked to do.  Our worth, our value, comes from a God who knows us completely and loves us completely.  We don’t need to impress others, we don’t need to be dishonest about who we are, what we believe and how we act. 

My challenge, then, for all of us, is to do the work of self-reflection and look at the hypocrisies in our lives.  It is hard work to truly be the Christians we strive to be, especially when it comes to loving people we don’t like.  That is the call, but it also takes a great deal of work to face ourselves.  It takes a great deal of honesty to be willing to look at our own stuff, name it, confront it and work to change it.  But when we do, when we are able to look, we grow, not just in our own beings, but in our closeness to God.  When we can really take the time to own our shit, we open the door to change and to letting God in at ever deeper levels.  Thanks be to God.  Amen.