As I mentioned in my sermon last Sunday, my son and I have been watching MASH episodes. I have always enjoyed the show and I continue to do so. But I'm also seeing them from a slightly different perspective as I grow and become older. While the sexist and demeaning remarks of the men in the show towards the nurses used to be funny to me (and that was their intention), they now bother me a lot more as I see them for what they are: harrassing, objectifying, and again, extremely sexist. At the same time, these attitudes expressed in the show do improve as the show progresses through time. Additionally, the women become less of an "accessory" and more central to the show. Margaret's character, in particular, moves from a one-dimensional, unintelligent sex-object into a real person who is not only powerful and strong, but also confronts some of these attitudes that come her way. I woke up this morning thinking about the ways in which her character not only challenges the behaviors of those around her, but actually makes a difference in who they are, in the ways they treat her, and possibly all those around them. This happens many times, more so as the show progresses, but there are three times in which it especially stands out for me.
In Season 5, Episode 19, "Hepatitus", Hawkeye has to give Margaret a shot for hepatitus. These shots are to be given in one's rear end and Hawkeye litters the conversation with these objectifying remarks. But Margaret ends the scene with these words:
"How dare you! You come in here on the pretext of giving me a shot and then stand there ogling me as thought I were a side show attraction!"
"Margaret, I'm trying to show you some appreciation and you hit the roof! What do you want from me?"
"Respect. Simple respect. I expect nothing more, and I'll accept nothing less."
Hawkeye looks like he's been hit. He looks like her words impacted him in a way that nothing else in their relationship had up until that point. And he shows this to be true by his response when he then says: "That's pretty good. You got me with that. You really did. You know in some ways you really are magnificent, and not just on the outside."
In season 10, episode 5, "Wheelers and Dealers," BJ is struggling because his wife at home is having to go to work to pay some of their bills. He is extremely upset and is acting out by being unkind to everyone around him. Eventually he gives Hawkeye and Margaret a lecture explaining how they can't possibly understand his suffering because they don't have a family at home. Margaret comes back at him with these words: "How dare you! How dare you stand there acting like your brand of suffering is worse than anybody else's! Well, I guess that's the only way you can justify treating the rest of us like dirt. Well let me tell you something, sad sack! If the worse thing that has happened to you is that your pretty little wife has to help pay the bills for a while don't come to me for sympathy. Maybe you do have the most to lose. But that's only because you've got the most!" And again, we see that BJ hears her. He brings a gift to his friends of cookies that his wife made and as he shares them he says, "I'm still full from last night's serving of humble pie."
Finally, in season 8 episode 14, "Stars and Stripes" Margaret is having a romance with Scully until he dismisses her work and her profession as unimportant, less-than, and almost "play acting." He says, "You're a nurse. Being a major is an honorary thing, so you can boss around a bunch of nurses. But not real soldiers."
Margaret responds with "Is that so? Well, let me tell you something, Private. I'm damn proud of these." (pointing at her major pin) "Nobody gave these to me. I earned them. And I'm just as much a major as any other major. You'll notice these leaves come in gold. Not pink for girls and blue for boys."
And then later when they have another conversation in which he is again trying to put her back into the singular role of subservient woman, she says, "You take it for granted that everything you want is yours. What about what I want? What do you suppose I am deep down? I'm me: sometimes a nurse, sometimes a major, sometimes a woman in love, sometimes all three at once... and sometimes that's lonely. Cooking eggs and playing house used to be fine for an afternoon. But now I want more out of my life than an afternoon..." Scully leaves. Perhaps she doesn't change him with her words this time, but my guess is that she does: it just takes longer for those words to have an impact, to make it inside to that place where he might become a bit more self-reflective and might grow and learn a bit.
There are other times too, when Margaret is able to truly impact those around her, with her strength, and with her wisdom. Since this is a TV show, I have found myself wondering, more realistically, how many people the character's words actually affected through the airing of these thoughts, ideas, beliefs and even values.
I think for me, that ability to make a difference, to change ourselves, but through that to impact others in ways that help them to be kinder, more self-reflective, more understanding, more compassionate, more grace-filled - that is my deepest goal and hope. This isn't really measurable. I will never know if my words have impacted or changed others. My life is small, the ways in which I affect the larger world are small. I will never know if I have been able to make a difference in the lives of those around me. But it is my goal, my hope, that my impact in this world is positive, and makes change for the better.
At the same time, I had someone remind me today that we pastors are not the "source" but are the medium, like a river bed, for the river to flow through. That our goal, really, should be to move ourselves out of the way so that the river can flow through us to those we encounter. While it can be hard to put our egos aside, any goal that lifts up our own success or our own ability to make a difference is not following that deeper call from God. So, I am trying to sit into this, to listen to those words of wisdom and to move myself out of the way. Still, I think God works through us, no matter our flaws and our humanity, whenever we are open to God, and whenever our intentions aim towards Love. I will continue to value the character of Margaret in MASH because she is able to change her world for the better. It is something I would wish for all of us; that we can become the mirrors reflecting the Light, that we can become the arms, holding one another in love; that we can become the river bed, a shute for a river of compassion, grace and justice to flow through us into a broken and hurting world.
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