I'm not sleeping well. I'm tense, irritable and moody. I forget things a lot, normal things, regular things. For example, I went to start writing today and then couldn't remember why I'd opened my computer in the first place. I walk around with a general feeling of unease or "dis-ease". I want to get things done but find that it sometimes takes me three times as long to do half as good a job on things that I used to do with efficiency and confidence. I find myself feeling a bit lost, wandering around wondering what I'm doing, why, and for how long.
Does this feel familiar?
We are all in a state of crisis. I realize that for some it is a much bigger crisis than for others. Far too many are looking at financial strain at the least, and for some it is truly financial catastrophe. Some are extremely ill or worrying about friends or family who are ill. Some are isolated and alone while others are packed into situations with too many people in a small space. The situations we face are different, the things that worry us are varied. But all of us are in a state of crisis. Things are not the same, for all of us. And I think it's important for us to name that, because of this, all of us are dealing with many feelings, many fears, and anxiety is a part of that for all of us. So I just want to name some of that reality that we have in common, that we are all facing during this time.
1. We are all grieving. Life is very different now. We don't know for how long, but my guess is that some things are changed in a permanent way. Since we don't know what things are temporary and what things are permanent, we are grieving what was without any real sense of what is coming to replace it. That grief itself involves many feelings that are uncomfortable: anger, sadness, some denial, depression are just a few of those feelings.
2. We are all anxious about what the future looks like. We rely on certain things being the same. People tend to have daily rituals, daily behaviors and activities and many of these have changed. We now have different times to sleep, different times to get up, different ways of meeting with one another (on-line), different ways of getting our work done or looking for new work or preparing for changes in our work lives. For many of us, the new routines are not yet set. Our bodies as well as our minds and hearts are needing to adjust to these changes, and that takes time and intentionality.
3. We all have some fear. What we fear may be different, but there is fear for us all. Will we get sick? Will our loved ones get sick? Will some of those we care about die? Who will care for our children if something happens to us? Who will care for us? Will we have work? Will our communities look the same when we have a chance to come together again? What will happen to our relationships? To our jobs? To our communities? How will we get food in a safe way? How will we get enough for our kids to eat?
There is more, but as I said when I started this post, my mind isn't what it usually is, so I think I'll stop the list of experiences there and move on to what I really wanted to say. In the midst of all of this, I want to encourage you to seek to stay emotionally and spiritually healthy as well as physical healthy. Towards that end I want to encourage all of us to try to do at least some of the following each day:
1. Breathe. I know, you may tell me that of course you are breathing. But I think we need to be more intentional about taking deep breaths. Breathing helps us to stay healthy physically, but it also calms down our anxiety. It causes us to pause in our other thinking and to simply BE. It pulls us out of our fears and anxieties and refocuses our attention on just existing. Intentional breathing reminds us that we are alive, and that each breath is a gift, an expression of grace, not something we should assume is ours. Notice your breathing, pay attention to your breathing, be grateful for your breaths. Notice your loved ones' and pets' breathing and be grateful for each breath they are taking.
2. Take time to meditate and pray. For me, prayer is talking to God (or the Divine or the Universe, or "that which is greater than oneself"), to articulate what I am feeling, what I am thinking is a gift. It not only helps me to release those feelings and thoughts, but sometimes saying them in a prayer allows me greater insight into what those feelings and thoughts actually are. Meditation is the opposite of prayer for me. It is listening, rather than talking. And in that space of listening I often hear the wisdom, the comfort and the care that I am most needing in the moment. I invite you to find a way to be intentional both about speaking your experience and listening to the wisdom that is out there for us. God is there to hear and to talk, to listen and to love you into each moment.
3. Exercise. Move your body. Get your heart rate up. Dance, walk, do yoga... whatever it is that you can do in whatever space you must stay in, to connect with the gift of your body, to step out of your mind for a few minutes and focus on just being physically alive in this world.
4. Connect. We can't touch each other. We can't visit with each other. We can't go out to eat or go for a walk. But we can still connect. Be intentional about connecting with others. Call, email, write letters, skype, zoom, or do whatever you can to work hard to stay connected with one another. Take the opportunity of this time to reach out to someone you haven't connected with in a long time, take this time to work on relationships that might otherwise not have your attention. Other people can help us to be more realistic in our anxieties, they can balance out our extreme thinking with their own vision and understanding, and they can remind us what is really important to us in this life time. Other people are there to support us when we are struggling and to give us the opportunity to offer support when they are struggling. We need each other now more than ever. Allow yourself to ask for help and to offer help to one another during this difficult time.
5. Engage art in some way. Draw a picture, sing a song, dance in your living room, look at pictures of beautiful art on the internet, read a good book, watch a good movie, write a poem or story, write a song, work on a quilt, engage in creating something outside of and beyond yourself. Art is healing to our souls, singing opens our spirits, creating brings back purpose and meaning to our lives.
6. Take time for gratitude. Keep a gratitude journal of what has been good each day during this time. Remember where life has given you gifts. Look for God and appreciate where God has touched and blessed your life in this moment.
7. Rest. Take naps. Be intentional about down time even if you are having trouble sleeping. Let this time allow for some body and mind healing from the frantic-ness of normal life. Move slowly and let that be okay.
8. Be gentle with yourself and with one another. In all of this, try to remember that this really is a crisis time. It is taking more energy than normal to function and it is taxing all of us in ways we don't usually experience. Allow room for errors, allow time for new routines and new ways of doing things to be learned, explored, and tried. Give yourself a break when you feel overwhelmed and lost.
9. Remember, beyond all else, that you are valuable, that you are loved, that you are precious. Each breath you take is a reminder that you have been loved into being and that you will be loved through and beyond each breath you take. Take time to remember that even when you are lost, God is there to find you again, and to help you find peace and wholeness.
As we walk this difficult time together, I want you to know that I am here for you. I am grateful for YOU. And we will get through all of this together. All things pass, and while there is grief that what has come before is different than what now is, we can be reassured that this crisis time, too, will pass. Breathe through today, look for the good in today, but also look towards tomorrow. It is just around the corner.
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