Yesterday we went to Kew gardens and spent about five hours there. Then we came back to our hotel in London, David got in some work (he’s required to work a certain number of hours while we are on this trip so he’s trying to squeeze those in while he can) while I walked over to Hyde park and walked it’s length, seeing many gardens, statues, lakes and wildlife. I found myself reflecting a lot on the nature of our relationships, both with nature and with God.
I recently read the amazing and wonderful book, Braiding Sweetgrass, by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I highly recommend it for anyone. Professor Kimmerer is not only a botanical researcher and teacher, but she is also a Native American who brings with her the values of respect and appreciation for nature. She discusses white Western culture’s “utility” mentality when it comes to the earth and the world. We take what we want and see it as our right to do so. Even when we talk about sustainability, she says, we do so often with the framework of being able to sustain our use and abuse of the planet’s resources. We rarely, unlike Native cultures, think about the earth in terms of relationships in which there is a mutual give and take between all parties involved, between plants, animals, humans, and even the soil, rocks and minerals of our world.
But as I walked around the gardens, I found myself thinking that maybe gardens bring a bit of exception to this utility thinking, at least the ones that are done well. We do give back: we till the soil, we water the ground, we pull weeds that might harm, overpower or strangle the plants we are cultivating. We work hard to create something lovely: the garden becomes the artist’s template for producing what is beautiful. We put in the work, and in exchange, the garden gives us back not only beauty, but serenity, space, fresh air, amazing fragrances, and a grounding that I think only comes through getting our hands dirty in the soil of this planet.
I found myself translating this into thoughts about our relationships to God. I think many people also “use” God in the same way that we use the planet. We think if we worship, pray, follow the rules, and have right beliefs that God will give us what we want, that God will be in charge and controlling of everything so that we will have “blessed” lives. It’s an exchange of sorts, but not one based on relationship: rather it is an exchange based on getting what we want. This is often mirrored in the conversations I have had with people who believe that God is in control and in charge of everything. “Everything happens for a reason” they say, believing God to really be a grand puppeteer who masterminds the smallest movements of living. I’m sure that is a reassuring belief: that nothing happens that is not in God’s plans, so if we just do good, do right, God will reward us (though, even that is difficult for me to understand: if God is in charge of everything, aren’t our very thoughts controlled by God? Then it is God who decides if we do good or not, right?).
My own beliefs are that God has given all creation free will. That means I choose my thoughts and feelings, just as you choose yours. God cannot control me or others, nor does God want to because God wants genuine relationship with us. But in my conversations with those who believe in the “everything happens for a reason,” I have often been asked, then, what the point is in having a relationship with God. If our prayers do not influence God to control what is happening, including other people and therefore control the outcomes, why pray? If our worship does not influence God to be good to us, why worship?
That really goes back to the utilitarian approach to faith, life, the world, though, doesn’t it? For me, we have relationship with God because the relationship, in itself, is worthwhile. God is goodness, God is love, God is beauty. Isn’t it always worth our time to be in relationship with goodness, love and beauty? That relationship itself is a gift: enriching our lives and changing us for the better, just as any relationship with another who is good, loving and beautiful is enriching and changes us for the better. Maybe that’s utilitarian, too; wanting relationships because they change us, enrich us, bless us. But we recognize in these relationships that there is a give and take of both, not because we are trying to control or demand or even ask for certain things but because we genuinely value our time with the other, or in this case, with God. If you don’t value that time with God, that is your choice. And I believe it to be a choice God honors and does not punish. I don’t believe God wants us to choose relationship with God out of fear of divine punishment or wrath, but out of love and a genuine yearning for connection.
This causes me to wonder, once again, if “worship” is really what God values at all. Because worshiping another keeps the worshipped being at a distance, does it not? It’s not the same as talking, walking and listening to another. It’s not a real exchange, it’s not a valuing of time together listening, learning and being together. By the way, I don’t think this negates the value of church. I just think that we need to imagine church differently. It can be a place that encourages us to deepen in our relationships with God.
Those are my thoughts this early morning in London as we prepare to leave on a tour of the greater England and Wales. Blessings be with you this day, or rather deepening relationships be with you this day!
Kew Garden:
Hyde Park:
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