Finishing Part Four

 To finish our UK tour: Tuesday we went to Lulworth Cove along the Jurassic Coast, which is a Unesco World Heritage site because of its unique geological features.  For me, that meant more hiking and incredible views as well as an opportunity to put my feet in the ocean waters.  

    We then went on to Weymouth where we spent most of the afternoon.  David and I (and sometimes just me) walked everywhere we knew gardens to be. 

    Still, perhaps the highlight of this time was the place we stayed: Summerlodge in Evershot.  Evershot is a village that boasts a population of around 200 people.  Yes, you read that right: TINY.  But the lodge there was INCREDIBLE!  Everyone had very different lodgings, and David and I stayed in a little cottage that we had to ourselves. The grounds were spectacular.  And the service was beyond anything!  The dinner service was honestly like a dance: with enough wait people for each person to be served their meal at exactly the same time.  The food was also beyond anything I’ve ever had.  This is the place to go people!

    Wednesday then we into Wiltshire and visited the Salisbury Cathedral, though we were not there at the right time and so could not go inside. 

    Then Stonehenge, which David and I were able to see because we move quickly.  Not all of our group was so lucky, however.  Apparently as David and I were heading back to the visitor’s center, some protestors crossed the barrier, and spray painted the monument!!  Stone henge was immediately shut down and everyone kicked out except the offenders who were being dealt with by the police when we left.

    Then we went to Windsor Castle.  However, it was unexpectedly closed because… well, let’s just say it wasn’t a surprise, though it was a disappointment. Still, David and I managed to find the lovely Alexandra Garden while the rest of our group shopped.  We even went on a Ferris wheel ride that gave us a great view of Windsor.

    And we ended back in London for the night. 

    I have so many reflections from this time, but I think the one that is most compelling for me has to do with entitlement, opulence, luxury, and over-indulgence.  I could not, throughout this tour, get past the feeling that the cost of this trip could have supported a family for a year in some parts of the world (NOT the Bay Area) and for a lifetime in other places.  I could not stop thinking that our sense that we somehow “deserve” to be served as we were at the lovely Summerlodge is a justification for selfishness that feels shameful.  Humanity is a cruel species, not only in our violence towards one another but also in our justifications of some having incredible wealth while others lack basic needs of water, food and shelter.  The divide between the “haves” and “have nots” grows, and those on the “have” side seem perfectly comfortable with that divide.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again: we have forgotten that we are family.  We have forgotten that we belong to one another.  We have forgotten what we should be about in this lifetime which is not just caring for ourselves and those like us, but caring for all.  That includes all creation for me, not just humans, but humanity is a start and we don’t seem to even do that. 

    There were several situations on the trip that really brought this thinking home for me.  One of the women on the tour approached us on the first day saying that she had started a “go fund me” page if we wanted to contribute.  I asked her what it was for and she told us it was for her to continue to be able to travel like this.  I didn’t respond, but thought that the “go fund me” causes that attract my attention and my dollars have a lot more to do with housing, education,  job opportunities, the building of wells and water filters rather than funding a person who was clearly very wealthy to continue to spend her time separating herself even more from others by living in this opulence continually. 

     The second was the hearing of the labels others on the tour assigned to many whom we saw: “Oh, there’s another wino” said the woman pointing to a homeless teen when I rarely saw her without a drink in her own hand.  “Look out for the undesirables” said the incredibly wealthy man who admitted to cheating in his business practices in ways that hurt his workers, the poorest and hardest working of all, to save himself money.  Our labels do three things: they allow us to dismiss people, to fail to see or understand them. They allow us to believe that we will never be in the shoes of some who have fallen through the cracks because we are not “like” them.  Finally, they keep us from self-reflection on our failures to do right by other people.  

    Perhaps a third is the complaints and judgements of some of the other tour members over tiny things.  When I said goodbye to our tour guide, she said to me, “Thank you for being a normal person, for laughing at my jokes and just being easy going about everything that wasn’t perfect.”  Huh.  I’ve never been accused of being a “normal person” before… ha ha!

    Yet, I am not immune to this entitlement thinking.  I found myself anxious about “missing” anything.  I found myself overeating because I didn’t want to waste food. I felt that “I had paid for it, so it was mine.”  When we found that we could not stop in the Cotswolds, I was upset, feeling cheated.  When we couldn’t get IN to Salisbury Cathedral I found tears unexpectedly coursing down my face. But again, this is entitlement thinking.  I know I don’t work harder than the many wait staff who are paid a pittance but are on their feet all day.  I know I don’t work harder than the maids and domestic servants who scrub and clean and cook all day but are also paid minimally. Why would I be more deserving of seeing these grand things?  And how do we decide who has value and who doesn’t?  Is it that those who work harder have more value?  It certainly is not that those with more money are more value able.  Maybe, as I’ve said before, we are valuable just because we ARE, we are all God’s children and therefore all have worth.  Also, it isn’t my money that has paid for this trip.  At a practical level, it was paid for by the grant I was given.  But at an even higher level all of it belongs to God.  

    This entitlement thinking does not just harm those who don’t have the same access to resources that some do, it also hurts us.  I was the one who suffered by feeling it “wasn’t fair” when I couldn’t see what I wanted to see.  I am the one hurt by the overeating that leads to feeling sick and stuffed when I feel I am owed that food because I paid for it.  

    Today we fly to Porto where Jonah will meet us.  For those who are unaware, Jonah has been studying abroad, this his third year in college, in Bergen, Norway.  He has just finished his year there and will fly to Porto with his belongings.  At that point, David will collect his belongings and fly home.  Jonah and I will begin the fifth part of my sabbatical by walking two weeks of  the Camino, ending in Santiago.  I cannot wait for this time with my son!  Because we are shlepping our needed belongings during our Camino walk, I am minimizing weight and handing over my iPad to David to bring home.  That means writing will be more difficult during this time (needing to be done on my phone).  I will try to do my best.  Thank you for continuing to journey with me!