Monday, January 20, 2020

God's Forgiveness


Mark 4:1-34



As you listened to the gospel lesson for today, what is the hardest part of all of this for you to understand? 

“He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables so that, ‘they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!’”

               This is very confusing.  How does this passage fit in with the God whom we see throughout scripture who is all about forgiveness and reconciliation?  The one who speaks even from the cross to say, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do?” 

               Additionally, as we read in the rest of the gospels, and even here in this particular chapter of Mark, even as he is saying that the disciples have been given the secret, it is actually clear that the disciples don’t understand at all.  They need him to explain everything, but even then, they keep missing the point.  So, if the disciples don’t get it, how are those on the “outside” who never perceive supposed to understand?  And why does it sound for everything here like Jesus doesn’t want them to therefore turn and be forgiven?

               I think this is, once more, a case of how we hear these words, rather than how they were intended.  I’d like to read to you the Message translation of this part of the scripture for today. 

“When they were off by themselves, those who were close to him, along with the Twelve, asked about the stories. He told them, “You’ve been given insight into God’s kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can’t see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight. These are people—

Whose eyes are open but don’t see a thing,

Whose ears are open but don’t understand a word,

Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven.”

Does that help?  I think it does, but there is still an implication here that somehow we have to do something in order to be forgiven.  And what I want to suggest is that this isn’t because God withholds God’s forgiveness, but because accepting that forgiveness into our hearts, that requires something more. 

               For those of you who have read my blog, you know that I write often about forgiveness.  I think it is one of the most important things we are called to do, and I think that at times, it is one of the hardest things we are called to do, especially when the person we are struggling to forgive is still hurting us.  But I’ve been looking more closely, lately, at instances when forgiveness is withheld.  I remember a colleague of mine who was run out of her church by, well, really by two members of the congregation who basically believed that her sermons were targeted at them.  They weren’t.  I’ve read the sermons and they were not focused on these two individuals at all, but instead were self- condemning, self-revealing, apologetic: open, caring, and loving.  But what is interesting is that while my colleague forgave these women who ran her out long ago, the two women continue to be incredibly angry and unforgiving about something that never actually happened.  When we had a Presbytery meeting at their church I ended up in a conversation with both of them and the bitterness they still harbor, decades later, towards my pastor friend is astonishing.  The fact that they would bring up this story, and would try to describe to me what happened in increasingly hyperbolic terms… I left the conversation feeling deep pity and sadness for these two who simply were unable to let go – and of what?  Of something that never happened.

Another friend of mine who is a teacher of children with special needs shared with me that one of the children in her class was always acting out, hitting, smashing things, damaging those around him.  When my friend tried to discuss it with the parents, the parents became irate at the teacher.  They sought revenge and began a smear campaign of hate and anger towards this teacher.  A year later when the child had a different teacher, evidence was found and later it was confirmed that the parents had been abusing the child: that the anger the child was expressing in my friends’ classroom came from being taught that hitting was the way one dealt with one’s rage.  It was not my friend who discovered the abuse, and it was not my friend, therefore, who ended up calling CPS about the child (since she was unaware at the time that this was going on).  But the parents have never forgiven my friend.  And again, for what?  For being there, for advocating for and being kind to their child, for attempting to bring change to a difficult situation, when the parents were unable to do so themselves.

I look at these situations, the ones I’ve named, and I wonder what they have in common.  And what I see, again and again, is that when we fail to forgive, it is often because we are blocked in our ability to have compassion for the other by a dis-ease, a discomfort, often a sense of guilt in the situation which we are not comfortable looking at, admitting to ourselves, or working through.  Sometimes that guilty feeling is because we have done something wrong.  Sometimes we feel that guilt and there really is no fault on our part.  But either way, if we are unable or unwilling to really look at our own feelings and our own part in a situation, it often comes out as rage at another, as inability to forgive the other.

That realization has called me to look at myself in those times that I am struggling to forgive another and to really ask the deeper questions.  Why can’t I forgive in this situation?  What about my own behavior or myself is so hard to look at, that I have to retain my anger at this other person in order to avoid looking at, and dealing with myself?  As I’ve mentioned before, this is a great deal of what 12-step programs are based on: looking in, working through our mistakes, in order to heal.

               We can only begin to forgive others when we have forgiveness for ourselves.  And so, when we fail to forgive ourselves, that pain often comes out in anger at others.  But it is more than this.  When we cannot forgive ourselves and then cannot forgive ourselves, we do not have the door open to accept God’s forgiveness.  Again, God’s forgiveness is always there.  But our own anger, our own rage and judgment and condemnation – all of that is a block to hearing, seeing, experiencing and accepting the forgiveness that God offers.

Our lack of forgiveness of others is, in a sense, a parable.  It is a story that calls us to look deep into our own behaviors and our own psyches for the things we have done with which we are uneasy.  We “see but don’t perceive” when we project our guilt outward onto others and fail to forgive them.  We “hear but never understand” when we fail to name our part in a situation and therefore fail to ASK for forgiveness but instead insist on the shame, humiliation, and damnation of others. 

I want to say again, forgiveness is not easy.  Choosing to be self-reflective is not easy.  I also think that our culture does not encourage it.  The justice system that we use in our country is actually an elaborate revenge system.  Why do we do this?  Again, a failure to want to look at ourselves.  But also perhaps in part because it is profitable for us to do things this way.  We are a country heavy with suits: we sue everyone over everything.  Suing is not forgiveness, but the numerous suits do keep our attorneys, our judges, our court workers in the money.  Our criminal system, too, uses a retributive “justice” model, not a restorative justice model.  I remember being at a convention that was centered around justice and we had several lawyer speakers.  To a tee all of them said that “justice” was a theological concept and had nothing to do with our legal system.  That our system is strictly a mercenary system, not a just one.  The people with the most money win, again and again and again.  But a mercenary system of revenge-punishment is one of avoiding self-reflection, avoiding compassion, failing to bring healing for victims as well as for perpetrators.  It leaves no room for healing, for forgiveness, for reconciliation, of any involved.  We are quick to judge, slow to really understand and have compassion, slow to forgive.  In contrast we are told that God is slow to judge, but quick to find compassion and grace.  The model we use is not one that follows God or Christ’s teachings.

A restorative justice model, in contrast, is much more in line with what our faith teaches and it is one that brings healing for everyone.  One of the classes I took for my doctorate focused on restorative justice.  In New Zealand, the Maori tribe traditionally used a restorative justice model and we watched a video about one episode in which restorative justice was used.  A boy had stolen a camera from an older couple.  The practice of restorative justice meant that everyone affected by this episode was to gather in a circle.  A talking stick was passed, which meant that each person was invited to speak and share how the episode affected them, and no one else could respond or talk during that time.  Only the person holding the stick could respond.  The boy who stole the camera began, and at first, he was just sullen and said he did it because his friends were all encouraging him to do it: so at first, he was not taking responsibility for the incident.  The stick passed to the couple who’d had their camera stolen.  They shared that it was not just the camera that they’d lost but all the pictures from their 50th wedding anniversary, memories that they could never retrieve, mementos that meant a great deal to them.  The boy’s grandfather went next and he said he felt humiliated and stunned by what his grandson had done.  At his words, the boy began to cry.  He finally began to understand what he had done and the damage he had caused.  He admitted then that they’d sold the camera to have pocket change and he claimed his own responsibility, apologizing not only with words, but with tears.  The group together decided that since he could not return the camera and was unable to replace at that point in time, the best “consequence” of his actions would be that the boy went to work for the couple until the debt of the camera was paid off.  All those involved in the incident were interviewed a year later.  There were several things that stood out for me.  The couple stated that in the process of having the young man work for them, while they were sad that they had lost their photos, at the same time they felt they had gained a grandson in this boy: that he had become a part of their family.  The boy himself, in coming to know this couple, had a much deeper appreciation for the damage he had caused.  The recidivism rate in the United States, according to a 2018 study is 83%.  The recidivism rate when restorative justice programs are used drops to about 25%.  Additionally, when a retributive justice system is used, the victims of whatever has happened often report that they feel revictimized by the court system.  In contrast, the victims when restorative justice is used tend to report that they leave feeling heard and that real healing has begun. 

I have a very close friend who lives in New Mexico who runs a sheep and goat sanctuary.  He called me this week and told me that a few weeks ago a dog had broken into the sanctuary, killing one sheep and injuring two others.  The owner of the dog paid for the sheep that was killed and also paid for the vet appointments for the two who were damaged.  But she was also brought up on criminal charges and it appeared that the punishment was going to be imprisonment, a fine, and the destroying of her dog.  My friend said that because of my constant barrage of comments to him about restorative vs retributive justice he asked to speak in court.  He said to the judge, “It will not help me heal the loss of my sheep for her to suffer or for her dog to die.  It will not change things in the future because she has gone to prison in response to her dog breaking lose and doing this damage.  I am asking you to drop the criminal charges.  She has paid enough.”  The judge agreed.  As a result, the woman now has started volunteering at his animal sanctuary and they have begun a friendship.

That is what the kingdom of God looks like.  That is what forgiveness looks like.  And that is the way that God treats US.  God does not seek to punish, God seeks to understand.  God does not seek revenge, God seeks healing.  God does not work from a place of ignorant judging, God works from a place of compassion and grace.   Jesus did not choose for those people who did not understand to fail to understand.  He recognized a stance on their part that led to hearing without understanding, and seeing without perception.  It is more than stubbornness that leads to this.  I think about Harry Potter and what Dumbledore said about the possibility for Voldemort’s healing.  He said that even this evil man could heal, he could heal all the horrible, awful things he had done.  There was hope for him, but it was only to be found in a decision on his part to look, to see what he had done and to feel remorse.  Dumbledore  also admitted that the pain of that remorse would be worse than he could imagine.  And, unfortunately,  it was a pain Voldemort was simply unwilling to experience.  Our salvation, or to use a less “churchy” word – our healing, our wholeness,  comes when we are willing to look, honestly, at what we have done – not project it outward as the scribes, Pharisees and others did with Jesus.  They projected onto him all their anger, fear, hatred – all of their mistakes and they then therefore killed him.  He had done nothing to harm them,  but they projected their own pain onto him.  They were not willing to see because it would hurt too much.  They were not willing to understand.  And because of that, all the forgiveness in the world that God offers, and God does offer it, they could not accept into their beings in any way.  They just couldn’t.  When we cannot look at ourselves, face ourselves, forgive ourselves, we cannot forgive others.  And when we cannot forgive others, we cannot find healing.  I think about what Corrie Ten Boom said about the people she worked with after WWII who healed were those who forgave.  Those unable to heal were those who were also unable to forgive.  This is the theory, again, behind 12-step programs as well: when we cannot face ourselves, we get stuck in our addictions.  It is only when we do the inner work that we are able to heal from them.

               Does God want to keep forgiveness from us?  Never.  Jesus came to announce that forgiveness, to heal us, to make us whole.  He declared from the cross, “Father, forgive them for they know now what they do.”  No.  But our ability to accept God’s forgiveness is in measure to our ability to forgive others.  And our ability to forgive others is in measure to our ability to forgive ourselves.  Our ability to forgive ourselves has to start with a facing, an understanding, an owning of what we have done.  So we 1. Self-reflect

2.  Find compassion for ourselves.

3.  Find compassion for others

4.  Accept forgiveness in.

And that is the cycle of healing, for ourselves, for our neighbors, and for the world.

Amen. 

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