Reconciliation

           About thirteen years ago, through a series of misunderstandings, my uncle became very angry with me and cut me out of his life.  The reasons don’t matter, the fault in the situation doesn’t matter either.  What is important here is that before this incident I felt we were very close, and after this incidence there was a hole in my life that was very painful for me.  I tried early on to repair the relationship, but my attempts did not go well. And so, for many years, I grieved the relationship.  I prayed about it regularly, asked for wisdom, for guidance, for help.  I prayed that he would forgive me, that there would be hope and room for healing, for contact; that reconciliation would come. I prayed for wisdom to know how to try to cross the schism, how to make it better, how to make amends.  I prayed for him good things: for his own healing and happiness.  But thirteen years of joys and pain, of changes and moves, did not seem to create or open any doors to healing in our relationship.  Eventually, I made peace with it within myself.  I finally forgave my own part in what had happened, forgave him for ending the relationship with me, and felt that, whatever happened from here on out, I was at least reconciled within myself to what had happened.  It wasn't what I wanted, but it was enough for a time.

Then this summer, much to my amazement and to my great joy, my uncle and his wife came to church on one of their visits down to the Bay Area.  Our whole extended family went out to lunch together afterwards.  I thanked him for coming, we reconnected, reconciliation began, healing began.  I cannot tell you what this meant to me.  We did not talk about the past, but in our looks, in our words, in our hugs, we let the past go, and chose to start again from here.  I felt that God had stepped in, that prayers had been answered, and that a great gift had been given to me.  God’s timing was not my timing, but God was here in this, love had won again, forgiveness and healing and reconciliation had been offered and I was grateful. 
         A couple months after that reconciliation, at the end of November, he died of a heart attack.

             I am terribly sad at his death.  But I am also deeply grateful: grateful that we were able to reconcile before he died; grateful that the last words between us were words of thanksgiving, peace, joy and love; grateful that we were given this time, as little as it was, to see one another again.  I feel that God was in this reconciliation, as God is in all things that are healing and compassionate and loving. 
           I am also left with the message and the strong reminder that life is, truly, short.  And we have little time with which to grace the lives of those with whom we travel… 
           Make peace with those you love today because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Forgive fully and often.  Reach out to those with whom there are schisms and disagreements and strive to step into a new day with each of them.  Today is all we have.  Use it for good in all you do.