I've written on this before, but it has come up again, so here we are once more. There are a few very basic and very different theologies that compete with one another around the topic of omnipotence, control or total power. These theologies do not divide across denominational lines: Christians (and really people of every faith) of every denomination argue on both sides of this issue. But it comes down to the same thing. Frederick Buechner (Protestant), Richard Rohr (Catholic), Elie Weisel (Jewish)... they all basically say the same thing: that there are three statements that cannot be reconciled:
God is all-powerful.
God is all-good.
Terrible things happen.
One of these has to go.
If God is both all good and all powerful, then even things that we feel are terrible must, ultimately, not be. But in order to believe this, you have to somehow convince yourself that rape, children being murdered and tortured and kidnapped, people destroying one another - somehow these are not actually bad things. Somehow God "has a plan" and "has mandated it from the beginning" and "everything happens for a reason." All I can say here is that if you actually believe that these things are not genuinely evil, and horribly wrong, then either you have never experienced genuine trauma, or your morality is completely different from my own.
So maybe, instead, you decide that God must not be all good. Well, this is the only option if God is in control of everything and terrible things really do happen. What kind of monster-god would allow for children to be separated from their parents, tortured, left to die of dehydration and neglect? What kind of monster-god would mandate that some people should be born with riches to fill the world while others cannot get enough to eat or drink? What kind of god feels rape is acceptable?
No, the above mentioned theologians, as well as many people across denominations and faiths who love God and spend time with God come to the conclusion instead that the "God is all-powerful" statement is the one that must be rejected. Instead they point out that God wants genuine relationships with us. And that means that we must be given free will, a free-will that allows people to make choices. Sometimes that means people make terrible choices that in turn lead, at times, to terrible tragedies. And because God is committed out of a deep, deep love for each of us, to letting us be who we choose to be: real people (not puppets, not dolls, not micromanaged robots) in real relationships, sometimes we do things that break God's heart. OFTEN we do things that break God's heart. And when that happens, God grieves with us as much as we ourselves grieve. God cries with us, holds us, mourns for and with us. But God still loves us too much to take away our ability to choose to be who we choose to be. I believe the stance of not being all powerful is something God has chosen, for the sake of giving us genuine life, for the sake of choosing real relationship with us.
Sometimes this makes me angry, just as it does for all of those who choose genuine, honest, real relationships with God. Sometimes I become furious at God for not stepping in, stopping the wars, stopping the torture, stopping death and destruction. But I also believe in a God who is big enough and loves me fully enough to be able to handle that anger. Read the Psalms if you aren't sure. They are full of words of anger at God, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?!" the psalmist shouts as he invites us to likewise raise our voices honestly to God. Jesus echos this from the cross as well, again, giving us permission (as we are called to follow in every way) to likewise express our pain and anger to God. Does God want you to suppress your feelings? Does God want you to lie about what you actually feel? Of course not! The God who loved us into being is big enough to be able to hear and see and love us for ALL that we are, with all our pain, all our anger, all our pride, and all our misunderstandings. That is the God who chooses us, chooses relationship with us, chooses to love us, and to stay with us despite what we do, what we say, what we feel and what we grieve.
Let me be clear that I do not believe that God therefore leaves us alone. We have been sent the Spirit, the advocate, who offers counsel and guidance. God is with us to talk to, to listen, to respond. God works through people, through nature, through scripture, through other writings, to all who are open to God's love, guidance, compassion, movement, encouragement, and wisdom. But God does not compel our choices in any way.
My God is big, big enough to love all of us with all of our faults, our mistakes, our tragedies, and our flaws. My God is all good, love beyond measure, hope beyond despair, and compassion beyond rage. Terrible things still happen. And God is not responsible for those terrible things. They happen, and God cries as her children are crucified again and again. God cries as his beloveds suffer. God weeps as we stumble our way through life sometimes hurting one another in awful ways. AND God laughs with us when we learn, delights in us when we triumph, celebrates with us as we grow and move and expand in our ability to love and care and share and be the people God hopes for us to be. This is the God I love. This is the God I know. This is the God I can count on to love me exactly as who I am, with my anger, and my grief, as well as my gratitude and my joy and my growing. And for all of that I am, indeed, grateful.
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