As many of you know, we have been dog-sitting this week. This has been a real challenge for us in many ways. For one thing, we all are busy: school, work, errands - which take us from home. David, fortunately, works remotely most of the time, and we have decided that for this week someone must be at the house with the dog at all times. But still, this has been a challenge adding into our already tight schedules dog walks and other outdoor time for the dog to get his business done. It also means we have not been able to enjoy the same family trips and events outside of the home. Still, after the initial couple days of accidents and other challenges with the dog, things are better, at least as far as the dog's happiness and comfort is concerned.
The bigger issue has been that we are a family with three cats, each with their own personalities, gifts, and issues. But watching the interaction between the cats and dogs has been interesting and in some ways insightful.
As I said, we have three cats, all of whom are litter-mates: two brothers and a sister born on the same day to the same mother, who was a stray. There is Storm, who is the Alpha cat. He is bossy with the other cats, and even with the people. He will insist on sitting on our laps, for example. If we put him down, he will just jump back up again and again. He is the one who informs us when it is time to be fed. He will sit on my lap facing me and stare into my face. If I don't react quickly enough and am sitting on the couch, he will climb onto the back of the couch and actually hit me on the head with his paw. With the other cats, he will chase, pin them and hold their necks in his mouth as a way to assert and maintain dominance. The more attention we give him, the less he does this, so he also tends to be the cat who claims the most attention. Spotty is our girl cat. She really wants nothing to do with her brothers and keeps to herself. She is very friendly with the humans, though, she likes to cuddle with us and even sleeps on our bed. She is very affectionate with the people. Shadow is our "dog" cat. He will sit to get treats, comes when he is called, and insists on sitting in a chair at the table with us when we eat dinner. He likes to be petted, but does not like sitting on laps. He is also lowest on the totem pole. He will cuddle with his brother, but if Spotty hisses at him, or Storm tries to insist on dominance, he will cry and try to get as small as he can. He deals with the stress of this by being our little over-eater kitty. He is all about the food, and he seems to have a very low self-esteem for a cat. He slinks away from the bossy cat and is hesitant about being in a place that Storm has claimed as his own. He won't go on our bed because Storm and Spotty sleep there.
What is interesting to me in the face of all of this is that Storm, the dominant bossy cat, is also the coward when it comes to strange people and strange animals. Storm always hides when we have guests, unlike Shadow who is curious and wants to know everyone who comes into the house. And this week, it is Shadow who has decided to make friends with the dog and will even sleep near the dog. He is the one who has figured out that the dog can't jump and is really a very small dog, so if Shadow sits on the counter or on top of the book shelf, the dog can't get to him. The dog and the cat will comfortably sit in the same room for the most part of the day without conflict. In contrast, Storm and Spotty hide all day long until the dog goes into his crate for the night. Only then will they come out and they still won't be in the same room with the dog. As a result, it is Shadow who is getting the most kitty attention this week because he is willing to be in the same room with the dog who wants to be with us all the time.
Shadow has a lot going for him. Not only is he the bravest cat, but he is also the smartest cat. Shadow figured out how to open round knobbed door handles (quite a challenge for those of us who didn't want him getting into the pantry or into certain rooms in the house!). He figured out how to get the treats out of the cupboard. And when we had moved here, across the country into our new house, Shadow was in the house less than an hour before he found a secret hole that allowed him to escape. When we realized he was gone, we figured we'd never see him again. After all, how could he learn in less than an hour that this new house was "home" especially after being separated from the family for about 3 months? But we found him sitting on the porch the next morning after his escape. In that briefest of time, he figured out where "home" was. Unfortunately, he also has a good enough memory that it took him almost a year to forgive us for the trauma of the move across the country and the "incarceration" at the Kennel for three months.
As I reflected on these different personalities of the cats, I found myself thinking about how they mirror humans in so many ways. Shadow is by far the most "talented" of the cats. He is brave, smart, resourceful and has an amazing memory. But he is also the least secure, and in many ways appears to be the least "happy" of the cats, crying more, over-eating more, slinking around in front of the dominant cat. In contrast, I don't really know what Storm has going for him accept that he's dominant and bossy. But that dominance, that bossy behavior gets him what he wants pretty much all the time. So too with humans. Sometimes it is the most talented, most resourceful, most motivated and committed people whom we see struggling with low self-esteem and debilitating depression. In contrast, some of our least gifted, least kind, least "good" people seem to have egos the size of China. Perhaps this is the result of experience: child-hood traumas or long term treatment that affects some in such a way that they gain confidence while others lose it. Perhaps it is all chemical and some people are just born with a strong sense of self-worth and even entitlement. Perhaps it is an awareness of the lack of real talent that causes people to feel they must assert their worth by putting others down. Maybe it is simply fear: a fear of being seen, a fear of having what is "yours" taken away that causes people to push others down. Probably it is a combination of all of these things.
Regardless of the reasons, I see that people continue to act as the cats do. People bully others and assert dominance over other people to try to boost themselves up. They do this with individuals, they do it with entire groups of people. We still create hierarchies that only benefit those on top, and we uphold them in such a way that many people are held down, oppressed, harmed, and even killed by those insecure enough to fear that if they share the pie, there won't somehow be enough left for them.
I deeply believe in a God who made enough for all of us, who created a world in which there really is plenty for all of us to share. And if we could only hold on to the fact that we are all valuable just because we ARE, that as children of God we are all loved and wanted and made beautiful, then perhaps we might treat each other better, might empower each other more, might help raise in people a true sense of worth without the need to bully or assert dominance. If we could only remember that we are all brothers and sisters and that your well-being affects my well-being in the way that if you are happy, I am much more likely to be happy as well; if you are hurting and don't have enough, the same will be true of me; then I believe we would not have to grab for ourselves and keep others "out" out of fear of losing what we feel to be "ours". We have taken a world created to be good where there is enough for all, and we have decided that some can have much more than they need while others don't have enough to survive. We lack true faith in a God who created us with enough for all. We lack faith in a God who wants the best for every single person, not just for a few, not just for some. We lack faith in a God of deep, overflowing, abounding love.
Perhaps we can learn from our animal friends. The cat who was willing to cross the boundaries and befriend the dog is a much happier cat this week. The two who are fearful have ended up alienating and isolating themselves. There is a lot to be said for trying to understand and accept one another despite our differences. May we have the eyes to see, and the faith to trust that God loved ALL of us into being, and calls us to love all of one another enough to care for them as we would care for ourselves.
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