I understand that belief in a God who functions in a Santa Claus kind of way, rewarding certain behavior, punishing other behavior, is common. I understand the reasons behind it. Wouldn't it be wonderful to believe that if we just did x (believed the right things, did the right things, prayed the right way) that God would give us everything that we needed? Wouldn't it be a huge relief to believe that we can control our lives in this way, by just believing or praying or going to church? I know it brings many people a great deal of comfort to believe that if they only do or believe the right way that everything else in their lives will be fine, will be taken care of. We hear this belief echoed through so many, again very comforting, faith statements, "Everything happens for a reason." "God won't give you more than you can handle." "If you just have faith, everything will be fine."
But there are a number of problems with this way of thinking. First of all, it is wrong. It is inaccurate. Anyone who has lived through a real crisis can vouch for this fact. As our scriptures tell us, "the rain falls on the righteous and unrighteous alike." Bad things happen to good people. People do get more than they can handle during this life time. Even deeply faithful, very generous and giving people meet with tragedies beyond what they can handle. Around the world there are faithful people who die in war, who starve to death, who find themselves living on the street or being in violent situations that eventually destroy them. God has given us free will, has called us into genuine relationships which means that God does not micromanage our behavior, nor the behaviors of others. If we were controlled by God, there would be no authentic choices or relationships. But that is not what God created nor what God wants from us. So God has created us with the choices to be who we want to be, do what we decide to do, and impact the lives of those around us however we do that. The result is that terrible things happen to people, often because of the free behaviors of other people. We want free will and the ability to make choices for ourselves, but we still hope that God will interfere with the choices that others make, prevent them from doing damage or causing harm. And unfortunately, our freedom comes with the cost that everyone else also has that freedom. God will not step in and take away that free will, or our individual autonomy. So tragedies occur. Everything happens, but often without any reason other than that people make choices that injure or harm others. And while our faith matters deeply: sensing and knowing a loving entity who will be with us through our tragedies will absolutely help us to cope, help us to manage; that faith will not change the behaviors of other people, the choices that they make, nor how those choices impede, and sometimes damage, our lives.
The problem with believing something that is so comforting, but that is ultimately a lie, is that for most people that belief that if we just do the right thing that God will make sure everything is fine, is a belief that is doomed to be challenged. If our faith is a Santa Claus kind of faith, then at the first real tragedy, we will not be able to keep or hold on to that faith. We see this throughout history: so many people left their faith because of and through WWII, for example. People have decided there must not be a God at all because of the numerous terrible atrocities and tragedies throughout human history. Others give up faith after personal tragedies that aren't on as grand a scale, but are just as devastating for the individuals. "We prayed to God and God didn't fix it." "What kind of a God would let their children suffer in this way?" Well, if that's what you believe God is about: if God is just someone to take care of us and fix our problems, if the only point in our faith is that someone out there will make everything okay, it is absolutely understandable that when those problems are not fixed, when they are awful, beyond belief, and God does not stop the terrible events of history, that our faith would not be able to withstand the realities of human life.
But there is so much more to faith. And if we can, finally, accept the truth that God will not manage our lives, that God has given us free will, that we have choices in every possible moment and situation which then lead to the uplifting, or the depression of other people, then we begin at a completely different place to have a genuine relationship with the God who created us for loving and being loved.
But perhaps this new faith, this new way of understanding God must begin with the obvious question: what is the point in having faith in a God who won't then fix everything, who doesn't ultimately manage the world, and who does not promise to take care of everything for us? There are many reasons to still have faith, but I will only name a few here that are meaningful to me.
First, I still deeply believe that God is Love. Perhaps that sounds trite, though by "love" I am not meaning that high euphoric feeling that we have for people and others whom we like. By love I am talking about compassion, grace, care, wisdom, and understanding. When we engage this Love in our daily lives, we are better people. We are less likely to make those free will choices that damage others. We are more whole within our own lives. And we can also stand the trials and tribulations that life hands us with greater strength, wisdom, grace and compassion. So, the first reason to still have faith is that the choice to engage Love in this way is a choice that benefits not only ourselves, but everyone we interact with as we grow in our ability to reflect kindness, thoughtful caring, good humor and generosity.
Second, even those good relationships with others that do not give us physical rewards still give us support, confidence, strength, and well-being. Our relationships with God are no different. If we work at truly forming a relationship with the Good that is beyond us, we will also experience that support, love, strength and well-being. We can talk to God, we can learn how to listen to God (through other people, nature, our faith writings, through events in our lives). We can walk with God in a genuine relationship that is infinitely supportive and loving.
Third, our faith stories (from whatever faith tradition you come) give us wisdom and teach us how to be loving towards one another. Those lessons are good guides for ways to walk in the world that are positive and healing for others.
Fourth, for me at least, a relationship with an infinitely loving Other means having the best friend and confident one could possibly have. This friend and confident will never betray us, puts up with all of our feelings, even anger or hurt, stays by us through every tragedy and difficulty we face, and guides us (when we choose to listen) in how best to walk through those hard times. This loving Other helps us grow, will never leave us alone or isolated, and is a true companion for each and every day.
These are just a few of the reasons to still have faith in a God who is not Santa Claus. But I also believe that this understanding of God gives us more freedom even in the decisions about whether or not to choose a relationship with God. We can choose it now for itself, not because there will be punishments if we decide we don't want it, and not because the only way to be successful in this life (or after) is through correct faith or belief. If we understand that God is not Santa Claus, then we can make a real choice about whether a relationship with God is something we want to spend our time and energy on, for its own sake.
If we do choose that relationship, I know it might not be easy to begin with. If we were brought up to believe in a Santa Claus God who rewards the good and punishes the bad, changing the way we see and understand God is not an easy task. But relationships of any kind based on what I can get from the other, even if that other is God, are doomed to fail. And a faith that is based on the expectation of an easy life will quickly be challenged. A faith that depends on our having free will while others are controlled will be inconsistent at best, but one-dimensional at worst. And a faith in a God who is just Santa Claus is a shallow faith without a depth of genuine relationship with a caring but real other. Letting go of those hopes and wishes for a God who will fix everything is not easy. But I deeply believe that the rewards of a genuine relationship are in the relationship itself.
I find great comfort in having faith in a real and loving Other, despite the fact that there is still a part of me that would like a simpler relationship with one who would just fix everything for me when life gets tough. But real relationships often have challenges, and growing in our relationship with God is no exception. I am so grateful, not only for the love that surrounds each of us every day, but for the chance to grow in my learning of who the Divine is.
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