Ruth 1:1-19
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
The passage that I read from
Corinthians today is a very familiar passage.
The passage from Ruth may be less well known, but it, too, is a common
wedding scripture. Interestingly, Ruth
was the assigned lectionary book for today which I thought was perfect timing
as in a few minutes we will be celebrating and blessing a most recent marriage in our congregation.
Both in honor of their marriage, and
because it happened to be the lectionary passages for today, I want to take
some time to talk about love, and commitment, and marriage. Even for those who have never been married or
currently aren’t married, I think the same concepts and principles of love
apply to our closest relationships with anyone and so it is worthwhile, even on
a regular Sunday morning, to spend some time talking about love.
The first passage from Ruth is one I
just love. There are wedding rings
carved with that statement from Ruth because it is so beautiful and is such a
testament to what love, true love, of any kind can look like, “Wherever you go,
I will go; and wherever you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people,
and your God will be my God.” And even
the next verse, “Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried”
speaks so deeply to the depth of love, the commitment, the dedication between
these two women. Many conversations have
been had about what the actual relationship was between Naomi and Ruth, but
whatever you believe it to be, it was clearly a relationship of love, of
commitment, and of dedication. Ruth says
to Naomi, I will be with you no matter what.
Even beyond death, my home, my life, my love is with you. Beautiful, profound, deep. This is what we want our marriages to
be. A meeting of minds, of souls, of meaning, connection and purpose. A joining in the deepest sense
so that where there were two, now there are one, moving together, walking
together, following and being followed, leading and being led. And again, for other relationships too, that
commitment to the relationship, that promise of love is vital, is what we all
long for. It reminds me of a song that I
love by a man named Eric Bibb called “Dance me to the End of Love”:
…
There's no other place I'd
rather be
No other face I'd rather see
than yours
Hold me as only you can do
And dance me to the end of
love
I'll follow you when you
want to lead
You'll follow me sometimes
too...
But, despite the roses and the
celebrations and the joy of being together, there is another side of love, and of any relationship as
we know. For while we are united by our
love for one another, we also remain individuals. Even in marriage, we remain individuals even
while being brought together. And even
the closest two people are never going to agree on everything. We know this.
I love the passage from Corinthians because it was written to a
congregation in the midst of deep division and strife. Paul’s exposition on love is his sermon to a
congregation saying that despite their struggles and discord, despite the anger
and hostilities among them, despite the differences, the tension, the fighting,
that they were called as Christians to act in love. For love is a choice. It is an action. And that action, even in times when you do
not feel love, when you do not feel loving, when you are angry, when you are
hurt, when you are struggling, even then, that love, that choice to love
requires you to be patient, kind, enduring, hopeful, faithful, and
truthful. It requires you to put aside
envy, resentment, and even irritation to be present, giving and to take care of
each other’s feelings, of each other’s beautiful but delicate souls.
This isn't an easy thing to do in the face of conflict. But every commitment, whether it be to a
church, or to being a parent, or to a marriage will have its times of
struggle. Struggle in itself is not a
bad thing. Within struggle are
opportunities for growth in ourselves, and even more, growth in our
relationships to one another and to God.
But if a relationship is real, if it is genuine, if it has integrity, it
will have times of struggle.
And still we are called to love. To stick with the promises made and to work
through them. To care for and about one
another with integrity, honesty, carefulness and compassion. But let me be clear that I’m not saying that
love tolerates abuse. Allowing another
to abuse you damages their souls as well as our spirits. There are boundaries even within our
love.
Which brings me to something else I
would like to share with you today. Kahlil
Gibran wrote this in his book, The
Prophet. It was written about marriage, but I again
think it really applies to any close, intentional, committed, deep
relationship.
He writes, “Love one another, but
make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of
your souls. Fill each other’s cup but
drink not from one cup. Give one another
of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same
music. Give your hearts, but not into
each other’s keeping. For only the hand
of Life can contain your hearts. And
stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand
apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
The Title of my sermon today was Learning to Love. Loving one another, truly caring for one another,
unconditionally and fully, is not something I think we are born knowing how to
do. When we are born, we love,
unconditionally, our parents at least, out of need. But as we grow, we learn how to love more
fully by practicing it. Again, I
believe, deeply and fully, that love is an action. And that love is a choice. We learn to love every time we do not respond
in anger but instead respond with and out of compassion. We learn to love every time we listen to the
other, fully and completely. We love
every time we are kind, every time we are patient, every time we are
compassionate and forgiving. We love
when we do put aside envy, rage, resentment and irritation. We love when we make a choice to care for and
about the other’s best and highest good and to work towards that. That is loving in any relationship. That is loving in every relationship.
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